Safe in my Bunker
Author: Protogod
Comments: 48 (Watch for comments!, Add to favorites)
Views: 2564
I'm safe in my bunker,
just a few blocks from home.
I've had a warm meal,
and my hair's nicely combed
The pilots fly out
they fly miles away
but few will return,
as most die today.
But I'm safe at home
in my bunker I'm free,
despite the chaos outside
and the dead around me.
Shots ring out.
The light turns red.
I take my position.
Sirens ring in my head.
"A launch is detected"
the recording said.
There's a bright light.
My family's dead.
I'm alone in my bunker
is this all in my head?
If there was a god,
my wife wouldn't be dead.
It's not safe in my bunker
and I haven't a home.
There'll be no warm meals,
just fading moans.
My bunker now shakes,
or is it just me?
"A launch is detected"
It's a nuke that I see...
just a few blocks from home.
I've had a warm meal,
and my hair's nicely combed
The pilots fly out
they fly miles away
but few will return,
as most die today.
But I'm safe at home
in my bunker I'm free,
despite the chaos outside
and the dead around me.
Shots ring out.
The light turns red.
I take my position.
Sirens ring in my head.
"A launch is detected"
the recording said.
There's a bright light.
My family's dead.
I'm alone in my bunker
is this all in my head?
If there was a god,
my wife wouldn't be dead.
It's not safe in my bunker
and I haven't a home.
There'll be no warm meals,
just fading moans.
My bunker now shakes,
or is it just me?
"A launch is detected"
It's a nuke that I see...
| 1, JimRaynor117 | |||||||
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First view and comment and vote! Wow. I never thought I'd get this early into someone's work. Your poems are all extremely well done, proto. I don't think you need me to realize that. This is yet another fine entry, and a solid addition to your poems and fiction. . . . . . . Of course, this wouldn't be me if I didn't have something to add. lol. what exactly did you mean by the lines: ""A launch is detected"the recording said. There's a bright light. My family's dead." Do the recording and the death of his family relate? Or were you putting down the lines because they rhyme? eh, you don't have to be nice, but seriously what did ya' mean? |
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| 2, Protogod (Senior Moderator) | |||||||
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i dont have to be nice? > *sigh* ur a momron. i'll take my own advice (i gave dontshoot this advice before) "if someone is too fucking stupid to understand a poem, dont bother explaining it, you'll just waste your time" |
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| 3, Geckat | |||||||
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What's a 'momron'? Did you mean 'mormon' or 'moron'? Wasn't sure...since you hate them both >.< . Anyway...I still liked your last two better than this poem, Proto. This one wasn't really anything special compared to your last two. It'd probably still get Exceptional for SC.Org's poetry, but for you I'd only give it something around Average or maybe Good. The stanzas and syllables and rhyme schemes are only half of the poetry, don't forget. That's what I know. You need some originality to it and such - make it interesting. Ah...I might as well rate. Again, keep it up, but also look for more material. Sort of...inspirations, I guess, for the roots of more of your work. Keep writing. You're still the Bragi of this site . |
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| 4, Protogod (Senior Moderator) | |||||||
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wtf is a bragi???? yeah, i lacked inspirated, but i needed to keep up appearances, so i wrote this in my spare time |
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| 5, JimRaynor117 | |||||||
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you still didn't explain yourself, proto! and you proved my point by calling me a "momron" anyway for asking you a question. As I said, no need to get soft on me though. "momron" lol, Jim Raynor. Out. |
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| 6, Protogod (Senior Moderator) | |||||||
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i do not intend to explain myself to the likes of you | ||||||
| 7, JimRaynor117 | |||||||
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"The likes of you". Wow. someone's holding a grudge.... |
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| 8, Protogod (Senior Moderator) | |||||||
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yup, now leave | ||||||
| 9, Ihatezerg | |||||||
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jim, just ignore him. he's not worth it. | ||||||
| 10, DontShoot | |||||||
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In regards to comment #3... Hey protogod, ever consider changing your name to "ProtoBragi?" J/K, we all saw what that escalated into when I christened you "ProtoBard" on Christmas in Korhal. Anyways, onto the poem... Eh, not quite up to your standards. Syllables were kind of off, but I enjoyed the ending, even if the ending in this one wasn't as good as the one in "an odessey of my own." (Hell, that one would be tough to top, period.) I'd give it a Good, but I have no intention of bringing the overall vote down. Keep 'em coming, sir. Can't wait to see your next post. WAIT DONT SHOOT |
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| 11, Geckat | |||||||
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I meant to say this earlier...Bragi was the Norse god of poetry and skalds. He was also supposed to be one of the wisest. Jim, maybe it'd be better if you just left Protogod alone for a while. Keep your comments to yourself for the most part, I think - keep them to fanfiction. I don't need anyone being set off right now. |
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| 12, JimRaynor117 | |||||||
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(Sound of lips being sewn together*) mfah!mfah, gruffubly! Vim Fayfuh. Fou. |
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| 13, Geckat | |||||||
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There. Happy, Protogod? | ||||||
| 14, Protogod (Senior Moderator) | |||||||
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actually, yes | ||||||
| 15, Geckat | |||||||
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Good. *sews Proto's mouth shut* | ||||||
| 16, Protogod (Senior Moderator) | |||||||
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...protoss dont have mouths moron, its telepathic. | ||||||
| 17, DontShoot | |||||||
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You mean "momron?" |
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| 18, Protogod (Senior Moderator) | |||||||
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...strike one... | ||||||
| 19, Geckat | |||||||
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lol, I thought it was 'mormon'. I thought he was bashing people for religious reasons  .@ Proto: Fine. Have it your way. *kills Proto*. NOW try and use your telepathy! |
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| 20, Protogod (Senior Moderator) | |||||||
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[telepathy] ok [/telepathy] | ||||||
| 21, DontShoot | |||||||
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LoL uh oh I better not get on proto's bad side... but proto knows that I was only joking... right?... Right?... RIGHT?!?!?! Great now proto's gonna like fry my brain or something... *zap, the smell of fried chicken* WAIT DONT EAT MY BRAIN |
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| 22, Protogod (Senior Moderator) | |||||||
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lmfao, im not a brain eater...but geck on the other hand... | ||||||
| 23, DontShoot | |||||||
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*Picks up loaded shotgun and waves it threateningly* Geck, don't get any funny ideas... just 'cause my brain smells delicious doesn't mean it's there for you to enjoy with a side of mashed potatoes... WAIT DONT SHOOT |
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| 24, Protogod (Senior Moderator) | |||||||
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dont worry your "brain" is safe | ||||||
| 25, Geckat | |||||||
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[telepathy]Yours, Proto, on the other hand...[/telepathy] | ||||||
| 26, Protogod (Senior Moderator) | |||||||
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[telepathy] watch it, gecky [/telepathy] | ||||||
| 27, DontShoot | |||||||
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[telepathy] Hey, I can do this too! And protogod, what do you mean, my "brain?"  [/telepathy] |
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| 28, Protogod (Senior Moderator) | |||||||
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[telepathy] i mean that thing the size of a marble in your skill[/telepathy] | ||||||
| 29, DontShoot | |||||||
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[telepathy] Screw strikes, you're going down NOW! *Screws up concentration, squeezes really hard to fry protogod's brain, but all that happens is a wet fart* Oops. I mean, I meant to do that. Erm... [/telepathy] *Walks away with embarrassed look on face* WAIT DONT SHOOT |
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| 30, Protogod (Senior Moderator) | |||||||
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uhh...its been a week and i still dont know what to say to that... | ||||||
| 31, DontShoot | |||||||
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Excellent. You know, it's kind of unfair- this poem hasn't has a whole lot of recognition that it deserves (no offense, proto, it's still a good poem). I think we should throw things at the staff members to vent. And maybe have some beer n' chips. Sounds good. WAIT DONT SHOOT P.S. I didn't really fart, ya know... |
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| 32, Protogod (Senior Moderator) | |||||||
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O.o "I think we should throw things at the staff members to vent." shh, you want me banned? *elsewhere* AJ: did someone say ban? |
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| 33, Geckat | |||||||
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Yes...AJ sees all . |
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| 34, Protogod (Senior Moderator) | |||||||
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not quite, mwahahahahahahahhahahahaha | ||||||
| 35, DontShoot | |||||||
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*lightning* J/K, we all saw what THAT turned into on my poem. Meh. WAIT DONT SHOOT P.S. Call me a newb (which I am on sc.org), but who's AJ? A staff member? |
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| 36, Protogod (Senior Moderator) | |||||||
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...you've much to learn, grasshopper | ||||||
| 37, DontShoot | |||||||
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Heh, grasshoppers are cool. |
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| 38, darthmooman | |||||||
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Comment #1: "Do the recording and the death of his family relate? Or were you putting down the lines because they rhyme?" Wow... somebody's brain is fried. Just think about it: what does a recorded voice that says "nuclear launch detected" mean? Hmmmmm. Could it be... a NUKE?! And what do nukes do to people, like a certain marine's family? MOOOOOOO P.S. BTW, you're not a momron, you're just stupid |
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| 39, FeatherSword | |||||||
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I was laughing by comment 19. Yes, I do belive AJ is a staff member. Man, your poems are so good, im still stuck on my fourth one. I only recognize about 30 so people active in the fanfiction section, 'working' as critics. About the same amount in Fanart too. Odd eh? there's got to be over...say 1,000 user(names) on this site? Or maybe the high viewing numbers are from guests and not from actual signed-up members. Momron, another bit of cyberspace slang I have to lock away with Lol and Wtf... Stupid 'K' ey is busted, it was the 'i' last week...i need to get this keyboard checked out... |
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| 40, Geckat | |||||||
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AJ's Staff everywhere in the .Org network. | ||||||
| 41, Protogod (Senior Moderator) | |||||||
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huzzah, im on popular list yet again...[/sarcasm] i think this is better than "Growing Doubts" but i dont know if it should be on the popular list. i never thought i'd reject success, but this is what, 2 or three months old? maybe its just me, but i think i submitted this awhile ago. this isnt my best work, and my work is becoming less and less original. i am making a plea to all authors: write less crap so this poem doesnt have to fill space on the popular list |
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| 42, DontShoot | |||||||
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Are you saying I write crap?! J/K, glad to see this poem finally get some much-deserved recognition. |
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| 43, DeltaSquad | |||||||
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.... umm, first off, shouldn't there be some spam control? second, how is it you're helping proto shut up jim, Geck? after reading all the posts by him and proto on this story, i'm kinda thinking that proto's flaming jim a bit. proto, tone it down. Geck, please stop being an asshole to a good member as for the poem, too abrupt. starts out great, poetic and fluent, but then "my wife if dead, lololol, zomg, i is so sad.. lalalalala". the only thing that hinted to the abrupt change was ligths and "launch detected". you must realize in real life, if someone was to make a tatical nuke strike on you, not everyone would hear. especially not seconds before being nuked i know it's poetry, but it has to make some sense |
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| 44, smasher25 | |||||||
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uh I dont submit crap in the fiction section. I only send my best work, and not those 1-page short stories that people write. and everytime I come here, Im always late for a party ?and HA! nobody knows what race I belong to! |
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| 45, Protogod (Senior Moderator) | |||||||
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stfu | ||||||
| 46, RampagingTemplar | |||||||
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This sucked. I had a bad ending. FYI, my vote lowered the rate from Exceptional to Good. sry. -stfu noob! |
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| 47, jello12 | |||||||
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" ur a momron" if you meant mormon. I am going to say aw jeez, WHY R THERE SO MANY RACISTS. y? man ur so cruel, y you a staff? anyways EXP very good i really liked it BOW DOWN TO ME... or not RACISTS protogod=racists actually racist i'm mormon GET YOUR ASS OFF MY CASE. man, RACISTS can u believe them THEY SUCK RACIST!!!!!!!!!! sometimes i wish i never was a mormon, THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH RACISTS ASSHOLES BOW DOWN TO ME... or not |
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| 48, jello12 | |||||||
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God damn....I don't remember typing the above up... > Dear...god! Ummmm, Can we delete the above co0mment. I beleive it was my brother being stupid again... I nearly fainted when I saw this when I was browsing my comments |
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