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In the life of... A series telling the life of several SC units |
1. In the life of a Terran Medic
2. In the Life of a Terran Dropship
3. In the Life of a Zerg Zergling
4. In the Life of a Terran Reaper
5. In the life of....JIM RAYNOR!?!?!!
6. In the Life of a Terran Science Vessel
In the Life of a Terran Dropship
Author: jello12
Comments: 15 (Watch for comments!, Add to favorites)
Views: 2053
This is sort of a sequel to ," In the life of a Terran Medic," i considered your changes and I hope you like this one. Thanks!
Day 1: My first job as a Dropship, i'm getting kind of scared, after all, I may die. I haven't gotten a call yet to do something [Thank Gosh!] At least my father is the General. Because of that I will only stay for 15 days or something like that. I hope this goes by fast.
Day 2: Well I got my first call today, To transport an SCV to another base. Though father got mad at me because I forgot to transport the Marines with him. Well thats one SCV down... I hope I get better at this job.
Day 3: Scotty arrived today at my base, I asked him what he was doing here. Turns out, Hes gonna be a Wraith! We get to fly in the air together... so romantic. I didn't get a call today [Yes!]. Anyways father wants me away from Scotty, he says I don't have time for," Love," on these missions.
Day 4: I had to transport 4 goliaths today to a battle site, there were said to be enemy Devourers in the region so I was Defended by Wraiths, I guess they really care for us Dropships.
Day 5: Its not even been a week yet! This is going by slow, I had two calls today, one was to transport an SCV to a unknown land today[ I even remembered the Marines] and the other was transport 8 marines to an enemy base. My ship was hit by an acid spore but i'm ok!
Day 6: I saw Scotty again today he says he may even be promoted to a Battlecruiser! That would be amazing, he would be used in alot of battles though so I don't want that to happen. I got another calling today, Take two Seige Tanks to a chokepoint. Boy do those Seige Tanks love humor.
Day 7: Daddy has teamed up with another Terran force, they are to attack the Zerg base in three days. No callings today, Scotty talked to me today, he said he was suprised how they got put in the same base. Now that I think of it, the chances of that are one in a million, Actually more like one in a billion. Its been a week since I arrived.
Day 8: I got a call today to take a Firebat to an unknown point so he can scout. I wish I was back home in Portland, boy do I miss Oregon. Today Scotty got promoted to Battlecruiser, that means I see him less often [ Not like I see him all the time either].
Day 9: Today we played a funny and cruel joke on a Medic, us Dropships told all the Medics to scream at exactly 6:00 AM. Then we covered the Medics best friend in fake blood, and told her too stay still and try to not blink. Well, the Medic came out and asked what was going on, then all the other medics cried and pointed at the Medics best friend. The Medic ran to get her first aid kit, When she came back out everyone [ Including the friend] was laughing, it was the funniest thing i've seen in all my time here. I had no callings today, I hope Scotty is fine in the battle tomorrow.
Day 10: Its evident we lost the battle, Only 8 troops came back. Thank god one of them was Scotty. Of course my job today was dropping soldiers off at the battle site. So much spore colonies, scared me half to death. Well, i'm told that it looked like there was no Zerg units, and when troops walked on the creep, all the Zerg units popped up, There was no flying Zerg units.
Day 11: Today father has decided to go from practicing offence to practicing defence. Thats kinda good cause maybe i'll get less calls and maybe Scotty won't have to fight as much. I'm stating to think this as a sleepover except with more danger.
Day 12: I had a call today, It was to pick up that Firebat I dropped off a few days ago! I can't believe it! How did he survive in that time? I thought another Dropship picked him up! Anyways he said he had no problem in that scouting journey.
Day 13: I had a call to Drop off 3 Marines at a Secondary base. they needed someone to go inside the bunkers there cause they didn't have enough people. Its about 2 days until I go home. Yet, I feel sad that Scotty will stay when I leave.
Day 14: Well, today I packed my bags, tomorrow I head home, I got one last call though, To drop off five medics at that secondary base. I did it successfully. Well I made many friends while I was here [ Even though its only been 15 days] I also got some of there phone numbers. Though I don't know how I will see the ones again that are from Utah and Calfornia. Its been a scary,yet fun time here. Tomorrow I will say my goodbyes and leave.
Day 15: Time to go, I almost even cried. I will miss the friends I made here and I hope Scotty will be alright. Well I got to go. I wish no one else dies in this ugly war. I am considering myself lucky we never did get attacked. Well, I know I will miss this place.
By Jello12
This is the second short story I have made, plz comment and say what you rated it and how I could make it better.
Thank You
Day 1: My first job as a Dropship, i'm getting kind of scared, after all, I may die. I haven't gotten a call yet to do something [Thank Gosh!] At least my father is the General. Because of that I will only stay for 15 days or something like that. I hope this goes by fast.
Day 2: Well I got my first call today, To transport an SCV to another base. Though father got mad at me because I forgot to transport the Marines with him. Well thats one SCV down... I hope I get better at this job.
Day 3: Scotty arrived today at my base, I asked him what he was doing here. Turns out, Hes gonna be a Wraith! We get to fly in the air together... so romantic. I didn't get a call today [Yes!]. Anyways father wants me away from Scotty, he says I don't have time for," Love," on these missions.
Day 4: I had to transport 4 goliaths today to a battle site, there were said to be enemy Devourers in the region so I was Defended by Wraiths, I guess they really care for us Dropships.
Day 5: Its not even been a week yet! This is going by slow, I had two calls today, one was to transport an SCV to a unknown land today[ I even remembered the Marines] and the other was transport 8 marines to an enemy base. My ship was hit by an acid spore but i'm ok!
Day 6: I saw Scotty again today he says he may even be promoted to a Battlecruiser! That would be amazing, he would be used in alot of battles though so I don't want that to happen. I got another calling today, Take two Seige Tanks to a chokepoint. Boy do those Seige Tanks love humor.
Day 7: Daddy has teamed up with another Terran force, they are to attack the Zerg base in three days. No callings today, Scotty talked to me today, he said he was suprised how they got put in the same base. Now that I think of it, the chances of that are one in a million, Actually more like one in a billion. Its been a week since I arrived.
Day 8: I got a call today to take a Firebat to an unknown point so he can scout. I wish I was back home in Portland, boy do I miss Oregon. Today Scotty got promoted to Battlecruiser, that means I see him less often [ Not like I see him all the time either].
Day 9: Today we played a funny and cruel joke on a Medic, us Dropships told all the Medics to scream at exactly 6:00 AM. Then we covered the Medics best friend in fake blood, and told her too stay still and try to not blink. Well, the Medic came out and asked what was going on, then all the other medics cried and pointed at the Medics best friend. The Medic ran to get her first aid kit, When she came back out everyone [ Including the friend] was laughing, it was the funniest thing i've seen in all my time here. I had no callings today, I hope Scotty is fine in the battle tomorrow.
Day 10: Its evident we lost the battle, Only 8 troops came back. Thank god one of them was Scotty. Of course my job today was dropping soldiers off at the battle site. So much spore colonies, scared me half to death. Well, i'm told that it looked like there was no Zerg units, and when troops walked on the creep, all the Zerg units popped up, There was no flying Zerg units.
Day 11: Today father has decided to go from practicing offence to practicing defence. Thats kinda good cause maybe i'll get less calls and maybe Scotty won't have to fight as much. I'm stating to think this as a sleepover except with more danger.
Day 12: I had a call today, It was to pick up that Firebat I dropped off a few days ago! I can't believe it! How did he survive in that time? I thought another Dropship picked him up! Anyways he said he had no problem in that scouting journey.
Day 13: I had a call to Drop off 3 Marines at a Secondary base. they needed someone to go inside the bunkers there cause they didn't have enough people. Its about 2 days until I go home. Yet, I feel sad that Scotty will stay when I leave.
Day 14: Well, today I packed my bags, tomorrow I head home, I got one last call though, To drop off five medics at that secondary base. I did it successfully. Well I made many friends while I was here [ Even though its only been 15 days] I also got some of there phone numbers. Though I don't know how I will see the ones again that are from Utah and Calfornia. Its been a scary,yet fun time here. Tomorrow I will say my goodbyes and leave.
Day 15: Time to go, I almost even cried. I will miss the friends I made here and I hope Scotty will be alright. Well I got to go. I wish no one else dies in this ugly war. I am considering myself lucky we never did get attacked. Well, I know I will miss this place.
By Jello12
This is the second short story I have made, plz comment and say what you rated it and how I could make it better.
Thank You
| 1, jello12 | |||||||
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well, PLZ comment. thank you staff for letting this go thru | ||||||
| 2, X9 (Section Moderator) | |||||||
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Dear jello12, My problem with this piece is really it's too...time-line like. You can't temporally quantify a piece to this extent, IMHO. Stories don't proceed like "Day 1" and then "Day 2". Furthermore, it's too jovial to be realistic, and the romance is not subtle at all, unfortunately. Of course, at times, the liveliness is compulsory. A modern soldier would be forced to inject humor into his or her life to prevent psychological breakdown, as I've spoken to a few soldiers. However, the story is too repetitive, and doesn't flow. It is as if you're going to describe a battle like: "Five mutalisks attacked the right flank" then "A few Valkyries counterflanked and destroyed them" but "Hydralisks consumed the Valkyries in the crossfire." A journal can work well - DocOc has written some great journal pieces from a Terran perspective, and Tom's great with first-person stories...anyways, I'm stuck between AVG and GOOD...meh, I'll go for the latter. =] ~weak good~ Cheers, X9, Fan Fiction Moderator |
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| 3, jello12 | |||||||
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Well, thx for commenting, at least in wasn't pretty bad ![]() Oh, and would anyone get annoyed if I sent in another one??? BOW DOWN TO ME... or not |
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| 4, X9 (Section Moderator) | |||||||
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Dear jello12, It was my pleasure to comment. =] I personally wouldn't be annoyed if you sent in another one...I'm here to help writers write bettah in whatever limited capacity I am able to! ;-) Cheers, X9, Fan Fiction Moderator |
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| 5, jello12 | |||||||
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thx, it is an honor to have a staff comment on my story BOW DOWN TO ME... or not |
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| 6, Observer | |||||||
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Capitalization, but anyway, quite good. Good. | ||||||
| 7, ButcherUSMC | |||||||
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Not to sound like I always agree with Moderators but again, X9 makes some good points. Jello12, try this. Write a small draft of how you want your journal to go. Say like: Medic is attacked>dropship backup>Rines hold off until extracted>wraith cover retreat>all safe but 1 death. Then, make a normal story as if you were telling it. Describe in detail what happened and why it happened. Then if your still going to put it into journal form, do this: July 7th, 2456: Today a Medic was attacked by an unknown Zerg force. They came out of nowhere, We were called in to extract her but I feared it was to late. I dropped off some Marines who secured the area as I helped the Medic onto the deck. The Zerg showed up as I was securing her. I think it was a trap they set. Those Zerg are pretty cunning if you ask me. Wraiths were called in to cover our retreat. We dusted off just in time when a Ultralisk came into view. We got home safely after that. Only lost the medic. She's in a better place now. I hate this job. Now that's just a rough sketch and could be better but it's just a though. -Good since your trying to get better. |
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| 8, Cuka | |||||||
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I think teh dropship pilot should of died on the last day. lol. BTW I'm from Portland Oregon. An ok story. Avg |
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| 9, minusHuman | |||||||
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How old are you boy? I'm so curious | ||||||
| 10, Seven | |||||||
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I don't know if this applies to everyone but every time i use numbers like 1, 2, 3 or etc in my stories, my English teacher gets pissed and marks me down. Maybe to add more 'professionalism', when referring to '8' marines you should use the word eight. If you're writing a diary entry however, then perhaps the '8th' or something like that should be fine. Avg, keep trying ! |
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| 11, DoctorOctopus | |||||||
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MinusHuman, my guess would be approximately ten. Correct me if I'm wrong. Then, again, being only fourteen, I'm easily disillusioned. Wait...Life as a Dropship or Life as a Dropship PILOT? I'm getting a bit of a Thomas the Tank Engine kind of feel, here.. |
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| 12, ButcherUSMC | |||||||
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I'm pretty sure its Life as a Dropship Pilot. It'd be kinda stupid to do a story from the viewpoint of a pretty defenseless ship. But what do I know? It could be. | ||||||
| 13, jello12 | |||||||
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Well I think its obviously Pilot | ||||||
| 14, psychocutter | |||||||
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I liked the cruel joke on the medic part.. It kind of made me laugh when I imagined it.. ![]() |
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| 15, Darkarchon18 | |||||||
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I actually like this series just how it is. Minus a few small things. | ||||||


















