The Fall of the Queen of Blades: Part 2
Author: Dem0nS1ayer
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Views: 1451
Part 2.1- Old Companions Reunite
It had now been 3 hours since The Hyperion exploded, and the escape pods were still orbiting space, getting nearer and nearer to Tarsonis by the minute. Raynor had fallen asleep. He had gotten into a pod from another side of The Hyperion so he was orbiting to Tarsonis on a route, along with Lt. Harkson’s body which was in the pod next to Raynor’s. Even though Raynor was having a peaceful ride to the planet, others weren’t. The other Fighters had taken the pods from the side of The Hyperion where all the Zerg were. There was no way the Zerg had missed them, so a few Mutalisks went after the pods. There were a total of 200 pods launched from the Hyperion on that particular side, but only 23 had survived…
The surviving pods had landed on Tarsonis, but the Terran Fighters found no peace there. There were Zerg colonies everywhere and as soon as the Fighters left their pods, they were slaughtered, even the remnants of Fenix. Raynor was the only survivor left, but he had yet to find out…
Raynor woke up to find himself in a pool of sweat. He was being thrown into Tarsonis, but he was picking up too much velocity. “Crap, crap, crap! I’m going in too fast!” Raynor had no clue how to stop the gravity from sucking him in, so he just had to sit and wait, hoping that the best would happen to him. Raynor’s pod was picking up speed every second, and soon the land came into sight. Raynor was only a few couple hundred yards above the ground, and he hadn’t the slightest idea what he was going to do. Just then, as Raynor was thinking about what would happen to him, his ship was hit with some sort of beam. Raynor’s ship started to slow down, and eventually, he had come to a complete stop. The beam was now pulling him down. While Raynor was going down to the land, he noticed a Protoss Scout fly past him. But this wasn’t just any Scout… It took Raynor a couple of seconds to realize it, but then he saw… It was Artanis, the leader of Shakuras! When Raynor landed, he immediately jumped out of his pod looking for Artanis and also hoping to find Zeratul…
Artanis landed his Scout and greeted Raynor. “Commander Raynor, it is so good to see you here. Life has been hell without you…” Artanis told Raynor.
“It’s good to see you too, Artanis.” Raynor replied. “But, what do you mean “life has been hell”?
“Ever since my group of Protoss lost against Kerrigan at Omega, and you and Zuratul left us, the Zerg had been sending small groups of Hydras, Lings, and Mutas to Shakuras every day. Many of our warriors died, so we were forced to leave our home world and come to an unexpected area. But once we got here, we were notified that there were Zerg on this planet too! There was nowhere we could run!” Atranis quietly explained. Hearing this story made the other Protoss depressed and it made them miss Shakuras even more. “We’ve been fighting off the couple of Zerg that come here once in a while, but we just don’t have the strength.” Artanis told Raynor.
“I feel your pain Artanis, I really do…” Raynor said. “Ever since before I knew the Protoss and since before I knew Kerrigan, I have been away from Earth. The Terran Confederacy is what has caused this, and if they all still alive, my men and I would surely slaughter them. Speaking of my men, have you seen them Atranis? They should have landed not to far from here…”
“Um.. well, you see Jim…” Artanis explained.
“Keep going…” Raynor told Artanis.
“Well, when your men landed, they were right in front of a massive Zerg colony. They were all killed.” Raynor was in shock. All of his men were dead. What would he do now? “My men and I tried to rescue them, but it was far too late. The Zerg had ripped them to shreds, even Fenix’s body didn’t survive…” That last part was hard for Artanis to say. Raynor knew that too.
“Damn it… My men are gone, Fenix’s body is ripped up… What am I going to do?!” Raynor asked in anger. “We still have Fenix’s body, and we were hoping that you could join us for the ceremony.” Artanis told Raynor.
Raynor smiled. “Certainly Artanis…” Raynor said. “You can count on that.”
Part 2.2- The Ceremony
All of the Protoss and Raynor had grouped together to give their last wishes before before Fenix’s body was put into a Statis Cell that would be locked up in a secret area. It was Protoss tradition to preserve a brave warrior’s body forever. Raynor was giving his respects when he saw something move to his right. He turned and saw something he could not believe. It was Zeratul! He had come back to pay his wishes to Fenix! Raynor had a huge smile on his face. “Zeratul! It’s good to see you!” Raynor said while approaching the mysterious Templar.
“Aye, Raynor… It is good to see you too.” Zeratul said in a hushed voice.
“What’s with the whispering?” Raynor asked.
“The other Protoss do not know that I am here yet.” Zeratul told Raynor.
“Then what are we waiting for?” Raynor said happily. “Let’s go tell them you’re here!”
“No Jim, not just yet…” Zeratul told Raynor.
“Wait… why not?” Raynor asked confused. “Don’t you want to talk to Artanis?”
“No Jim… I have been on a secret mission here on Tarsonis.” Zeratul told Jim. “And when I sensed your presence, I knew you could help me more than anybody else.
“Wait… What in the world are you talking about Zeratul?” Raynor asked.
“I’ve been on two missions here on Tarsonis.” Zeratul explained. “One mission is to watch over Artanis and his brethren. The other deals with the Zerg.”
The last part of Zeratul’s explanation caught Raynor’s attention. “What about the Zerg Zeratul?” Raynor asked.
“As you know, a brood can only be controlled by a cerebrate.” Zeratul told Raynor. “I have spotted 3 cerebrates on this planet. They are all working together to control the massive brood here. There are over three-thousand Zerg being spawned everyday!”
“Jesus Christ!” Raynor exclaimed in disbelief. “What type of cerebrate capable of that?!”
“There is none.” Zeratul explained. “They have to work together to do that…”
“What? I don’t understand!” Raynor said.
“Come…” Zeratul told Raynor. “Let us talk in a more secret place.”
Part 2.3- Many Secrets are Revealed
Raynor followed Zeratul to a lair underneath some fallen debris. He unlatched a door that had been hidden. Raynor went down the dark hole that had been uncovered when the door was open. He and Zeratul sat down and began discussing the Cerebrates.
“Those Cerebrates are descendents of the Sacred Cerebrates that the Xel’Naga created.” Zeratul explained. “They are more powerful than any Cerebrate in the Universe. They can control many numbers of Zerg and not worry about a rebellion. The Zerg under their control will never do anything except for what the Cerebrates tell them to do until the Cerebrates are dead.”
“How can somebody kill them?” Raynor asked.
“They will die just like any other Cerebrate, but the Zerg will be guarding them.” Zeratul said.
“Then how do we kill the Zerg that are guarding them?” Raynor asked.
“With new equipment.” Zeratul said. “Come Jim, let’s go to a different room, then we’ll talk.”
They walked to a closed door that Zeratul soon opened. What Raynor saw in the mysterious secret hideout he could not believe. He knew many things about Protoss technology, but he had never seen equipment like this before. There were newer looking Photon Cannons in one corner. Over in one corner there was hundreds of Protoss armor, fully equipped with shields.
“Zeratul…” Raynor said. “What is all of this stuff?”
“The items you see here are newer Protoss attack and defense items.” Zeratul replied. “Newer items that I created…”
“You made all of this?” Raynor asked surprised. “How?”
“I’ve had a lot of time to spend thinking of ways to kill the Zerg.” Zeratul told Raynor. “Over here are newer Photon Cannons, called Photon Shooters. They can shoot multiple times at once. They will be useful for when we are being attacked by swarms of Mutalisks.”
“Wait, what are you talking about?” Raynor asked in confusion. “When would we be attacked by Mutalisks?”
“You see Jim, that is what I wanted to talk to you about.” Zeratul said. “That mission that I wanted to discuss with you, it’s about invading the major Zerg brood on this planet.”
Raynor stared at Zeratul in disbelief. “You want to invade the Zerg brood here?” Raynor asked.
“Yes Jim, I do.” Zeratul replied.
“That crazy! Even with newer equipment, we’ll never get enough warriors to help us!” Raynor told Zeratul.
“Well, actually, I think we will.” Zeratul said calmly.
“How?” Raynor asked.
“While I was sitting in a transport that was taking me to different planets to find Duran’s hybrid, I came across a ship… The Aleksander II.”
Raynor did not understand. “The Aleksander II? What are you talking about?!”
“I did not understand at first, too.” Zeratul said. “I was curious, so I decided to follow the ship. It landed on a planet called Mars.”
“Mars? You mean, the planet next to Earth?” Raynor asked in disbelief. He would give anything to be near Earth again, let alone back into his own galaxy.
“Yes, Jim… When I landed I saw a man come off of The Aleksander II and he saw me. I told him who I was, and by the look of his eyes, he looked like he knew me…” Zeratul told Raynor.
“How would that man know you Zeratul?” Raynor asked.
“Yes, that is what I was wondering too, but then he introduced himself.” Zeratul explained. “He told me that he was Thomas DuGalle, Gerard DuGalle’s son.”
Raynor’s eyes became so big that somebody could fit baseballs in them. “Thomas DuGalle?” Raynor asked. “I didn’t know that DuGalle had a son!”
“Neither did I Jim.” Zeratul said. “But it appears that he does.”
“Okay… but how does he have anything to do with this mission?” Raynor asked.
“When I found out that he was DuGalle’s son, I knew he would love to kill the Zerg.” Zeratul explained. “I told him about the situation and he said that he would love to fight. I can reach him anytime and tell him to attack. He’s orbiting right above us.”
Raynor could not believe it. The man who wanted to take control of the Zerg had a son who wanted to kill the Zerg! “I’m guessing he had a large disposal of Earth fighters with him?” Raynor asked Zeratul.
“He has thousands.” Zeratul told Raynor. “Almost every earth fighter plus many Terrran fighters are on his side. But I’m afraid that still won’t be enough…”
“Are you kidding me? Thousands of fighters should be more than enough!” Raynor told Zeratul.
“No Jim… The Zerg create over a thousand minions everyday. By now, they should have millions.”
Raynor could not believe it. “Millions?! How can we fight that many Zerg?!
“I don’t know…” Zeratul told Jim. “But remember, millions of Zerg are being made on this planet itself. There are still hundreds of other broods all over the galaxies making units!”
“And just how do you expect us to fight that?! Thousands of Humans against MILLIONS of Zerg? YOU’RE INSANE!” Raynor yelled at the top of his lungs.
“Jim! CALM DOWN!” Zeratul yelled. “We still have Protoss fighters!”
“What..? How? I thought they were all with Artanis.” Jim said.
“No, Jim… There are still hundreds of them hiding on this planet.” Zeratul explained.
Now Raynor was really confused. “Hundreds? How?”
Zeratul told Raynor, “You see that machine over there?” He pointed to a large metal object in the corner.
“Yes…” Raynor replied.
“That is a Warp Gate.” Zeratul said. “I built it myself. When I was finished, I went back in time and got many Zealots, Dragoons, Templars, Carriers, Scouts, any Protoss that decided to come. They are hiding on this planet, waiting for my command to attack.”
“Very nice… Zeratul, but don’t you think we should get Artanis also?” Raynor asked Zeratul.
“Well, I was thinking about it, but then I thought that I should wait for you to see the army, then see what you think.” Zeratul said.
“Well than, I guess we better see the army.” Raynor told Zeratul.
“That’s just what I was hoping for.” Zeratul said while walking towards his computer. He pressed a button and spoke into a microphone. “General DuGalle, bring the units to our army area.”
Then, a voice spoke back. It was DuGalle. “Okay Zeratul, my men are coming right now.”
“Come Jim, let’s go.” Zeratul said. He walked to a covered object and uncovered it. “You can use this to get to the army area.” Zeratul pulled off the cover and Raynor saw an amazing Vulture!
“Holy crap Zeratul… did you make this?!” Raynor asked in disbelief. It was the best looking Vulture he had ever seen.
“Yes I did, Jim” Zeratul told Raynor. “It has forty-two inch steel armor, with a Cyber-Core shield. That shield will block any type of acid the Zerg shoot at you.”
“Wow… thanks Zeratul… But what about Zerglings.” Raynor asked.
“Don’t worry.” Zeratul explained. “Your Fragmentation Grenades can take out a group of ten Zerglings in one hit, so I don’t think you will have a problem.”
“Thanks again Zeratul.” Raynor said.
“No problem Jim.” Zeratul replied.
Zeratul hopped into his Corsair and he and Raynor were off to the army area. Once they got there, Raynor felt like he was with his old militia again. There were Terrans everywhere, building Command Centers and Barracks. Raynor followed Zeratul to a room. He looked out a window and saw thousands, maybe close to millions of Terran, Earth, and Protoss fighters, all lined up, waiting for an order.
A smile came onto Raynor’s face and he let out a little laugh. “Zeratul…” Raynor said.
“Yes?” Zeratul asked.
“I think it’s safe to say that Kerrigan is gonna get a major ass whooping…”
They both looked out into the distance, staring at the large army, knowing that now, for once, they actually had a chance against Kerrigan and her brood.
It had now been 3 hours since The Hyperion exploded, and the escape pods were still orbiting space, getting nearer and nearer to Tarsonis by the minute. Raynor had fallen asleep. He had gotten into a pod from another side of The Hyperion so he was orbiting to Tarsonis on a route, along with Lt. Harkson’s body which was in the pod next to Raynor’s. Even though Raynor was having a peaceful ride to the planet, others weren’t. The other Fighters had taken the pods from the side of The Hyperion where all the Zerg were. There was no way the Zerg had missed them, so a few Mutalisks went after the pods. There were a total of 200 pods launched from the Hyperion on that particular side, but only 23 had survived…
The surviving pods had landed on Tarsonis, but the Terran Fighters found no peace there. There were Zerg colonies everywhere and as soon as the Fighters left their pods, they were slaughtered, even the remnants of Fenix. Raynor was the only survivor left, but he had yet to find out…
Raynor woke up to find himself in a pool of sweat. He was being thrown into Tarsonis, but he was picking up too much velocity. “Crap, crap, crap! I’m going in too fast!” Raynor had no clue how to stop the gravity from sucking him in, so he just had to sit and wait, hoping that the best would happen to him. Raynor’s pod was picking up speed every second, and soon the land came into sight. Raynor was only a few couple hundred yards above the ground, and he hadn’t the slightest idea what he was going to do. Just then, as Raynor was thinking about what would happen to him, his ship was hit with some sort of beam. Raynor’s ship started to slow down, and eventually, he had come to a complete stop. The beam was now pulling him down. While Raynor was going down to the land, he noticed a Protoss Scout fly past him. But this wasn’t just any Scout… It took Raynor a couple of seconds to realize it, but then he saw… It was Artanis, the leader of Shakuras! When Raynor landed, he immediately jumped out of his pod looking for Artanis and also hoping to find Zeratul…
Artanis landed his Scout and greeted Raynor. “Commander Raynor, it is so good to see you here. Life has been hell without you…” Artanis told Raynor.
“It’s good to see you too, Artanis.” Raynor replied. “But, what do you mean “life has been hell”?
“Ever since my group of Protoss lost against Kerrigan at Omega, and you and Zuratul left us, the Zerg had been sending small groups of Hydras, Lings, and Mutas to Shakuras every day. Many of our warriors died, so we were forced to leave our home world and come to an unexpected area. But once we got here, we were notified that there were Zerg on this planet too! There was nowhere we could run!” Atranis quietly explained. Hearing this story made the other Protoss depressed and it made them miss Shakuras even more. “We’ve been fighting off the couple of Zerg that come here once in a while, but we just don’t have the strength.” Artanis told Raynor.
“I feel your pain Artanis, I really do…” Raynor said. “Ever since before I knew the Protoss and since before I knew Kerrigan, I have been away from Earth. The Terran Confederacy is what has caused this, and if they all still alive, my men and I would surely slaughter them. Speaking of my men, have you seen them Atranis? They should have landed not to far from here…”
“Um.. well, you see Jim…” Artanis explained.
“Keep going…” Raynor told Artanis.
“Well, when your men landed, they were right in front of a massive Zerg colony. They were all killed.” Raynor was in shock. All of his men were dead. What would he do now? “My men and I tried to rescue them, but it was far too late. The Zerg had ripped them to shreds, even Fenix’s body didn’t survive…” That last part was hard for Artanis to say. Raynor knew that too.
“Damn it… My men are gone, Fenix’s body is ripped up… What am I going to do?!” Raynor asked in anger. “We still have Fenix’s body, and we were hoping that you could join us for the ceremony.” Artanis told Raynor.
Raynor smiled. “Certainly Artanis…” Raynor said. “You can count on that.”
Part 2.2- The Ceremony
All of the Protoss and Raynor had grouped together to give their last wishes before before Fenix’s body was put into a Statis Cell that would be locked up in a secret area. It was Protoss tradition to preserve a brave warrior’s body forever. Raynor was giving his respects when he saw something move to his right. He turned and saw something he could not believe. It was Zeratul! He had come back to pay his wishes to Fenix! Raynor had a huge smile on his face. “Zeratul! It’s good to see you!” Raynor said while approaching the mysterious Templar.
“Aye, Raynor… It is good to see you too.” Zeratul said in a hushed voice.
“What’s with the whispering?” Raynor asked.
“The other Protoss do not know that I am here yet.” Zeratul told Raynor.
“Then what are we waiting for?” Raynor said happily. “Let’s go tell them you’re here!”
“No Jim, not just yet…” Zeratul told Raynor.
“Wait… why not?” Raynor asked confused. “Don’t you want to talk to Artanis?”
“No Jim… I have been on a secret mission here on Tarsonis.” Zeratul told Jim. “And when I sensed your presence, I knew you could help me more than anybody else.
“Wait… What in the world are you talking about Zeratul?” Raynor asked.
“I’ve been on two missions here on Tarsonis.” Zeratul explained. “One mission is to watch over Artanis and his brethren. The other deals with the Zerg.”
The last part of Zeratul’s explanation caught Raynor’s attention. “What about the Zerg Zeratul?” Raynor asked.
“As you know, a brood can only be controlled by a cerebrate.” Zeratul told Raynor. “I have spotted 3 cerebrates on this planet. They are all working together to control the massive brood here. There are over three-thousand Zerg being spawned everyday!”
“Jesus Christ!” Raynor exclaimed in disbelief. “What type of cerebrate capable of that?!”
“There is none.” Zeratul explained. “They have to work together to do that…”
“What? I don’t understand!” Raynor said.
“Come…” Zeratul told Raynor. “Let us talk in a more secret place.”
Part 2.3- Many Secrets are Revealed
Raynor followed Zeratul to a lair underneath some fallen debris. He unlatched a door that had been hidden. Raynor went down the dark hole that had been uncovered when the door was open. He and Zeratul sat down and began discussing the Cerebrates.
“Those Cerebrates are descendents of the Sacred Cerebrates that the Xel’Naga created.” Zeratul explained. “They are more powerful than any Cerebrate in the Universe. They can control many numbers of Zerg and not worry about a rebellion. The Zerg under their control will never do anything except for what the Cerebrates tell them to do until the Cerebrates are dead.”
“How can somebody kill them?” Raynor asked.
“They will die just like any other Cerebrate, but the Zerg will be guarding them.” Zeratul said.
“Then how do we kill the Zerg that are guarding them?” Raynor asked.
“With new equipment.” Zeratul said. “Come Jim, let’s go to a different room, then we’ll talk.”
They walked to a closed door that Zeratul soon opened. What Raynor saw in the mysterious secret hideout he could not believe. He knew many things about Protoss technology, but he had never seen equipment like this before. There were newer looking Photon Cannons in one corner. Over in one corner there was hundreds of Protoss armor, fully equipped with shields.
“Zeratul…” Raynor said. “What is all of this stuff?”
“The items you see here are newer Protoss attack and defense items.” Zeratul replied. “Newer items that I created…”
“You made all of this?” Raynor asked surprised. “How?”
“I’ve had a lot of time to spend thinking of ways to kill the Zerg.” Zeratul told Raynor. “Over here are newer Photon Cannons, called Photon Shooters. They can shoot multiple times at once. They will be useful for when we are being attacked by swarms of Mutalisks.”
“Wait, what are you talking about?” Raynor asked in confusion. “When would we be attacked by Mutalisks?”
“You see Jim, that is what I wanted to talk to you about.” Zeratul said. “That mission that I wanted to discuss with you, it’s about invading the major Zerg brood on this planet.”
Raynor stared at Zeratul in disbelief. “You want to invade the Zerg brood here?” Raynor asked.
“Yes Jim, I do.” Zeratul replied.
“That crazy! Even with newer equipment, we’ll never get enough warriors to help us!” Raynor told Zeratul.
“Well, actually, I think we will.” Zeratul said calmly.
“How?” Raynor asked.
“While I was sitting in a transport that was taking me to different planets to find Duran’s hybrid, I came across a ship… The Aleksander II.”
Raynor did not understand. “The Aleksander II? What are you talking about?!”
“I did not understand at first, too.” Zeratul said. “I was curious, so I decided to follow the ship. It landed on a planet called Mars.”
“Mars? You mean, the planet next to Earth?” Raynor asked in disbelief. He would give anything to be near Earth again, let alone back into his own galaxy.
“Yes, Jim… When I landed I saw a man come off of The Aleksander II and he saw me. I told him who I was, and by the look of his eyes, he looked like he knew me…” Zeratul told Raynor.
“How would that man know you Zeratul?” Raynor asked.
“Yes, that is what I was wondering too, but then he introduced himself.” Zeratul explained. “He told me that he was Thomas DuGalle, Gerard DuGalle’s son.”
Raynor’s eyes became so big that somebody could fit baseballs in them. “Thomas DuGalle?” Raynor asked. “I didn’t know that DuGalle had a son!”
“Neither did I Jim.” Zeratul said. “But it appears that he does.”
“Okay… but how does he have anything to do with this mission?” Raynor asked.
“When I found out that he was DuGalle’s son, I knew he would love to kill the Zerg.” Zeratul explained. “I told him about the situation and he said that he would love to fight. I can reach him anytime and tell him to attack. He’s orbiting right above us.”
Raynor could not believe it. The man who wanted to take control of the Zerg had a son who wanted to kill the Zerg! “I’m guessing he had a large disposal of Earth fighters with him?” Raynor asked Zeratul.
“He has thousands.” Zeratul told Raynor. “Almost every earth fighter plus many Terrran fighters are on his side. But I’m afraid that still won’t be enough…”
“Are you kidding me? Thousands of fighters should be more than enough!” Raynor told Zeratul.
“No Jim… The Zerg create over a thousand minions everyday. By now, they should have millions.”
Raynor could not believe it. “Millions?! How can we fight that many Zerg?!
“I don’t know…” Zeratul told Jim. “But remember, millions of Zerg are being made on this planet itself. There are still hundreds of other broods all over the galaxies making units!”
“And just how do you expect us to fight that?! Thousands of Humans against MILLIONS of Zerg? YOU’RE INSANE!” Raynor yelled at the top of his lungs.
“Jim! CALM DOWN!” Zeratul yelled. “We still have Protoss fighters!”
“What..? How? I thought they were all with Artanis.” Jim said.
“No, Jim… There are still hundreds of them hiding on this planet.” Zeratul explained.
Now Raynor was really confused. “Hundreds? How?”
Zeratul told Raynor, “You see that machine over there?” He pointed to a large metal object in the corner.
“Yes…” Raynor replied.
“That is a Warp Gate.” Zeratul said. “I built it myself. When I was finished, I went back in time and got many Zealots, Dragoons, Templars, Carriers, Scouts, any Protoss that decided to come. They are hiding on this planet, waiting for my command to attack.”
“Very nice… Zeratul, but don’t you think we should get Artanis also?” Raynor asked Zeratul.
“Well, I was thinking about it, but then I thought that I should wait for you to see the army, then see what you think.” Zeratul said.
“Well than, I guess we better see the army.” Raynor told Zeratul.
“That’s just what I was hoping for.” Zeratul said while walking towards his computer. He pressed a button and spoke into a microphone. “General DuGalle, bring the units to our army area.”
Then, a voice spoke back. It was DuGalle. “Okay Zeratul, my men are coming right now.”
“Come Jim, let’s go.” Zeratul said. He walked to a covered object and uncovered it. “You can use this to get to the army area.” Zeratul pulled off the cover and Raynor saw an amazing Vulture!
“Holy crap Zeratul… did you make this?!” Raynor asked in disbelief. It was the best looking Vulture he had ever seen.
“Yes I did, Jim” Zeratul told Raynor. “It has forty-two inch steel armor, with a Cyber-Core shield. That shield will block any type of acid the Zerg shoot at you.”
“Wow… thanks Zeratul… But what about Zerglings.” Raynor asked.
“Don’t worry.” Zeratul explained. “Your Fragmentation Grenades can take out a group of ten Zerglings in one hit, so I don’t think you will have a problem.”
“Thanks again Zeratul.” Raynor said.
“No problem Jim.” Zeratul replied.
Zeratul hopped into his Corsair and he and Raynor were off to the army area. Once they got there, Raynor felt like he was with his old militia again. There were Terrans everywhere, building Command Centers and Barracks. Raynor followed Zeratul to a room. He looked out a window and saw thousands, maybe close to millions of Terran, Earth, and Protoss fighters, all lined up, waiting for an order.
A smile came onto Raynor’s face and he let out a little laugh. “Zeratul…” Raynor said.
“Yes?” Zeratul asked.
“I think it’s safe to say that Kerrigan is gonna get a major ass whooping…”
They both looked out into the distance, staring at the large army, knowing that now, for once, they actually had a chance against Kerrigan and her brood.
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Out of 4 voters, most think this story is Below Average!
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Other stories by this author: |
| 1, Ihatezerg | |||||||
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this is seriously lacking in description, and the small ones you included are seriously lame: "it was a really god looking vulture"... below average plow on with it, though |
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| 2, Dem0nS1ayer | |||||||
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yeah i know. this story kinda sucks... | ||||||
| 3, Dem0nS1ayer | |||||||
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Damn it... I put a map on this site the same I put this on here (a week ago) and it still hasn't been improved... Wtf... | ||||||
| 4, Dem0nS1ayer | |||||||
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oops.. i meant to say approved, not improved.. i know, im retarded.. |
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| 5, GanthridorII | |||||||
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Pretty Bad/period | ||||||
| 6, Baronofhell | |||||||
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Rewrite this, fix all the errors and give more detail about the surroundings and whatnot. Then I will give you a good. |
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| 7, SgtHK | |||||||
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The plot is nice. But the dialogue is somehow unrealistic and you failed to give descriptions of the environment. | ||||||
| 8, AzVortez | |||||||
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Ganthridor, you had a pretty bad period? i thought u were a guy ![]() lol. Anyways, not descriptive, and you totally ruined the Protoss' culture. The Protoss are respective, and they don't say things like "lifes been like hell". Zeratul was weird, always seeming like some weird prophet dude from wc3, didnt really appreciate it. Zeratul is usually a noble, but straigh the point dude. Also, emotions don't change that fast. like *angry* "Oh god, so many Zerg", then right after that *smile* "Yah, i can bury fenix" or *angry* "So many Zerg, we can't do anything!" *happy* "ZOMG, we gots teh whole Terran pplz to smash 'em leetz zerg into the ground!" then *angry* "Still not enough?! BAAAAAAH!!" *cries* honestly, emotions dont change that fast PB, it doesnt look like you tried to improve. If you did, I dont see it. |
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