Hotorn (Section Moderator)
Section Moderator
Send a message to Hotorn.
The following are documents submitted by this user:
| # | Document | Channel |
| 1 | Battle for Berthas II: Fixed Version | Maps |
| 2 | Bloody Roses - Intro | Fiction |
| 3 | Bloody Roses - Part 1 | Fiction |
| 4 | Bloody Roses - Part 2 | Fiction |
| 5 | Deadman's Word | Fiction |
| 6 | My Lonely Face | Fiction |
| 7 | The Lonely Base: Part 1 | Fiction |
| 8 | The Lonely Base: Part 1 | Fiction |
| 9 | The Lonely Base: Part 10 | Fiction |
| 10 | The Lonely Base: Part 11 | Fiction |
| 11 | The Lonely Base: Part 12 | Fiction |
| 12 | The Lonely Base: Part 13 | Fiction |
| 13 | The Lonely Base: Part 14 | Fiction |
| 14 | The Lonely Base: Part 2 | Fiction |
| 15 | The Lonely Base: Part 3 | Fiction |
| 16 | The Lonely Base: Part 4 | Fiction |
| 17 | The Lonely Base: Part 5 | Fiction |
| 18 | The Lonely Base: Part 6 | Fiction |
| 19 | The Lonely Base: Part 7 | Fiction |
| 20 | The Lonely Base: Part 8 | Fiction |
| 21 | The Lonely Base: Part 9 | Fiction |
The following are comments posted by this user:
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#1. Posted on June 19, 2008 09:11 AM. Approved, as always I'm not disappointed by your work OLM37, waiting for the second installment. 9/10,Exceptional ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#2. Posted on June 19, 2008 09:08 AM. Not too bad, 7/10, worth a Good in my book, keep up the good work. ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#3. Posted on June 08, 2008 03:16 AM. As always, a lovely piece of fiction to read, waiting for the next chapters. Hotorn ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#4. Posted on June 08, 2008 03:14 AM. Not bad. Keep up with the revamping. ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#5. Posted on September 30, 2007 01:46 AM. As always, nice as hell, good job deadlyassasin. You've got my vote down once again. Alexander "Hawthorne" Kirilov ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#6. Posted on September 27, 2007 01:34 AM. Ok, this got through and I'm proud with the way you're progressing, still some things need correcting, so here's my list: 1. When building up a story, try not to use names that already exist in the original SC story. Also, talk between a high-ranking officer, and someone further down in the ranks are highly-official most times., prolifically using the word Sir in the end of the sentence towards his high-ranking officer. Instead of comm, type communication system, radio system, or just invent ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#7. Posted on July 30, 2007 01:02 AM. Starts out good, basically you don't need the "To be continued" part, it's a series, it'll end when you make it end. As for grammar, everybody has his low points, I noticed a few misplaced commas and so on, but that's nothing to die about, keep on the good work. ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#8. Posted on July 09, 2007 05:05 AM. For people like Swo69ers, "chocolate milk" is a quote, from the discontinued series of Joey, when his colleagues referred to booze as "chocolate milk". Or was it narcotics? Either way ;P ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#9. Posted on July 07, 2007 05:15 AM. If you're a Mozilla Firefox user, then I strongly suggest you download an English dictionary (there are several for American, British, Irish, Welsh and so on). Grammar is a good thing, also don't forget the pointers that I gave you, and you'll be all right 
Cheers,
Hotorn ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#10. Posted on July 06, 2007 01:10 AM. And a good theory it is, but let's leave it that, if anyone had the power to insert a bomb into my skull, I'd be the first one at the "Bomb Yer Head" Facility  ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#11. Posted on March 26, 2007 11:19 PM. I'm an exception, been living in a cave with no Mario Games
- i'm on the other side // right behind your dreams ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#12. Posted on March 26, 2007 01:31 PM. Haladras, just a slight question, is DA just a tune, or do you mean it like YES
- Reacting is like breathing, you don't want to, but you have to...
...Click here to view this comment. |
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#13. Posted on March 09, 2007 12:28 PM. Fail to acknowledge at least a part of my splendor and thy reign shall be short-lived, oh mighty ones. ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#14. Posted on November 10, 2006 11:32 PM. Not going to even try to write down the mistakes on this one, look at what I wrote for part 1, same stuff here. Again a 3/10, too much mistakes. ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#15. Posted on November 10, 2006 11:29 PM. Not bad, too short, no name for main character. Here are a few mistakes/stuff you should work on: 1. I can anytime on my cloaking device. This is just blurry, I can't get what it's supposed to mean. 2. “Entering planet atmosphere, all units please put on your seat belts.” Units seems too-related to the game, change it with some other word, like "squadrons" if you meant more than 1 characters, or personnel. Would sound better, trust me. 3. A tinkling feeling of nauseous ness ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#16. Posted on April 23, 2006 12:54 AM. Ok, let's see the data. Jim raynor has been toyed around with his past, his present and his future. Everything he loved and adored went to gravel, and yet he continues. I thing that in a way they're making him a martyr, they throw the worst at him, Blizzard's most fearce nightmares and yet he survives it all and continues. He is trully a symbol of what the mind can take and how we can react to all of the idiotic things that we meet daily. Or maybe they're just being a bunch of hogs and keep o ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#17. Posted on January 07, 2006 07:58 PM. Let me say something that has been said a million timeson this site, do a story not related to the Sc Campaigns or story, this isn't even close to average dude, sorry to say it but come on. ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#18. Posted on January 01, 2006 10:21 PM. Depends on how you look at it  ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#19. Posted on November 21, 2005 08:37 PM. I don't have to grow u, I'm 15
Strange, I checked up, but still around 10 other nations use our system ( only in Europe ). So generally it's not my fault he got mix up, ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#20. Posted on November 20, 2005 09:25 PM. Ok generally What the hell is going on with these quotation marks?!? I mean seriously everytime I writer a quotation marks I get like wth am I doing this ( Generally because in Bulgaria quotation marks are for quotes or thoughts, things that are said aloud are after a dash, and I'm pretty sure it's not only here! ). Also he started it
Hotorn ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#21. Posted on November 19, 2005 07:12 PM. Secondly, it is VERY difficult to read. Use quotation marks! Learn basic sentence structure! Add some punctuation! Don't mix up it's with its! - That is something I'd get offended by very easily, but I'lll let it pass, for the moment. ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#22. Posted on November 19, 2005 12:23 AM. Not adm you need a little more work on your descriptions other than that it's fine oh yeah punctuation, it's important. You get 7.5/10 from me that's a GOOD ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#23. Posted on November 18, 2005 10:37 PM. Um..... Ihatezerg, have we told you what a good comediant you'll make ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#24. Posted on November 18, 2005 09:05 PM. 1 - I don't give a f*ck, there are ltos of stories that aren't SC related on this site. 2. - This is just some basic info, for the stories go to part 1 & 2, don't even vote on this no sence in it really. 3 - If anyone says again that it's not SC related I'm gonna take a shovel out!!! ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#25. Posted on November 18, 2005 08:59 PM. 1. THIS IS JUST THE CHARACTER'S INTRO STORIES. 2. JOJAYSIUS IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT GO TAKE A SHORT WALK OFF A STEEP HILL 3. I WROTE THAT IT ISN'T SC RELATED IN THE BEGINNING, SHOWS HOW MUCH YOU READ JO. I'm tired of idiots like you Jo, ruining the little bit of respect I had left for my writing, actually I don't give a fuck what you think! Hawthorne ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#26. Posted on November 15, 2005 09:23 PM. JimRaynor117 don't try to be such a **** with DeltaSquad, he'll run you over and make pancakes out of you, generally don't touch the vets r they'll hurt you
Hotorn - The Bloody Roses Shall Rize... ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#27. Posted on November 02, 2005 04:52 AM. Hey, you hated person, I invented that story and you two wrote it  Oh yeah wait I gave you the right to write it, but why the hell didn't you give me any credit for ideas and stuff, oh and do I get to write the ending like we agreed
Um DFIK wrote around 1/5 or 1/4 of the story, and we've had 18 pages done for 5 months, wth took you so long to post Delta!?! ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#28. Posted on October 14, 2005 08:39 PM. Since no one really commented despite my pleasing and hard work this is the finakl pat of this sotry and i will seice to work on any stories for sc.org, the lack of any attention to an old writer and just too much attenton to new ones is beyond me. ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#29. Posted on October 10, 2005 06:36 AM. 1. I CAN'T FIX IT. 2. USE FIREFOX 3. CHANGE ENCODING TO UNICODE (UTF-8) That's all the advice I have so Ihatezerg read and criticize, deadfast, come on you sweep out with that excuse everytime, don't make me get my Grunt Squad. ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#30. Posted on October 08, 2005 09:20 AM. Well I did what you said and still..... no reaction, I doubt it's from fy fiurefox extensions just checked, so Schwitzer describe what should happen in a PM darlin' 
Nevermind, it showed, funny ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#31. Posted on October 06, 2005 08:29 PM. um... strange letters..... it looks just fine to me.... hm yes I see now you're all using wrong encoding switch to UNICODE ( UTF-8 ). I'm sure opera and firefox users have that encoding, go to view > encoding > Unicode (UTF-8) I think Explorer should also support that unicode, almost every story I posted, at least the last 5 have had that problem, I'm sorry but it's not in me, tried fixing it but the system still doesn't want to, anyway the sotry hasn't been aproved so i can't edit ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#32. Posted on October 06, 2005 06:38 AM. Just posted my next part for The Lonely Base, ope it gets the deserved comments, criticism and rating ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#33. Posted on October 06, 2005 06:33 AM. Geckat - just posted the ext aprt of my story,it's short 7 pages, considering that the previous part was around 12. Just couldn't think up anything else, I hope it's good enough
-Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#34. Posted on October 06, 2005 06:31 AM. Well it's FINALLY out
Took me some time, if you find something that I've missed tell me, criticise and RATE.
-Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#35. Posted on September 29, 2005 10:08 PM. Actually, Randomness end here ( in sc.org ), but Randomness begins here ( in wb.org ). Hawthorne  ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#36. Posted on September 29, 2005 08:54 AM. Ok, I didn't get half of that but I know it's offensive in some way. Hm, that stuff isn't important read the ret or bow down to the tie! Hawthorne - Randomness ends here ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#37. Posted on September 29, 2005 06:36 AM. Hawthorne glances at Geckat & Delta's posts - Oh you're in for a beating, and I do mean... oh wait is that pancakes!!! Hawthorne jumpes at the pancakes and is incaged by Geckat & Delta: " Well that was immature.. why didn't I think of it. " Anyway why can't I be mentioned, I'm the only Eastern European ( Bulgarian ) on sc.org and wb.org, plus I've been gone for 5 months ( well busy actually ) and no one even noticed
By the way second time I've been in the news, fir ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#38. Posted on September 23, 2005 06:16 AM. Ok here's my comment - Yet another thrilling part from our dearly departed SciFifreak90 - Let's give a big aplause for our undead friend.
SciFifreak90 steps in and kills Hawthorne with a shovel:
" Comment you dirty shoes you!"

10.10 - Exceptional

Hawthorne ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#39. Posted on September 23, 2005 06:12 AM. Again not bad, needs a little work, characters seem a little bit dull and describe more, that's all I can say for now
Hawthorne - King of The Lonely Base ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#40. Posted on September 23, 2005 06:11 AM. Not bad, by the way I got comments around 300 views or more so be grateful kid ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#41. Posted on September 23, 2005 12:54 AM. Not bad serated, not bad ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#42. Posted on September 23, 2005 12:50 AM. Nice map, 9/10 from me us I nevr give a 10/0 ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#43. Posted on September 23, 2005 12:19 AM. Next part coming soon. ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#44. Posted on August 31, 2005 07:44 PM. Damn, when is there going to be an interview with a sey eastern european.... * Points himself * Hawthorne - Lord of Music ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#45. Posted on July 20, 2005 02:14 PM. Um...... BST I think that you shouldn't be teh ones to write an official guideline..... let some of the pro writers like deadfast or whomever do it, 'cus sincerely said and with my apologies it would s**k if they didn't get mentioned in a while for keeping on with the exceptional stories
Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#46. Posted on July 20, 2005 02:09 PM. Not bad deadfast, remember to keep 'em coming
Hawthorne - Bringer of Shovels ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#47. Posted on May 31, 2005 01:08 AM. Well let's seee..... most of the veterans are heheheh escaped convicts , theo ther guys are somewhat sleepy, I'm semi-active by this point
-Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#48. Posted on May 31, 2005 01:06 AM. Meh, nto bad kid. Good sides: somewhat interesting bad sides: way too short, write abotu 6-7 pages minimum for each part in MS Word, punctuation, some problems with words but it's not bad as a start. 6/10 or Good by my standarts, keep writing
-Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#49. Posted on May 30, 2005 12:47 AM. Nice story, earned an Exceptional. Get workingo n the next one or I be shovellin' you where it hurts the most
Btw Daim how's the Pandora story coming on, you finished with your part yet?
Still waiting for it
Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#50. Posted on May 25, 2005 12:20 AM. Quote: "Yeah I got it, you ****** s****y american." -Hotorn Responce: Canadians, americans - Americans aare a mix of europeans and indians, canadians are europeans, but a big part of them are from france ( Quebec ).
Anyway it was supposed to be a joke, guess you didn't get it Griffy, I couldn't have Delta even if i wanted to, he's one of the best guys around...
Quote:
And, BTW, Hotorn, don't insult communism. It r0xx0rz if you have the right guys in charge. Like communism ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#51. Posted on May 23, 2005 09:08 AM. Oh now I'm gonna have to post again... blah no more idiotical stuff afterwords please I'm sick of posting 5 times a day
hmm, ya, you really don't get it do you hotorn? english not your first language? ya, it's a stab at you, but it's for the stab at BrotherGreen. spit in his face is figurative, and insulted on THIS ISSUE, got it? and what's with you and therapists?
English is my first language, just didin't have time to check it for mistakes Well he did deserve it and in a matter so ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#52. Posted on May 23, 2005 04:22 AM. This is gonna be one of my last comments here, the only thing I'll accomplish from here on is get my rep going bad. Quote: How dare you consider the maturity there higher. I consider that quite rude BST. There are more spammers and flamers there, but you delete more there, because they're the favored child of the .org network. We are so mature here, anytime a problem arises, we ALL rally to fight it in the only way we can while you sit back and blame us! Responce: Maturity - 5 times high ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#53. Posted on May 22, 2005 01:44 PM. Well let's see.... what's there to compromise about first of all. You have not enough valid reasons to make such a mockery, you're just being abnoxious. If we did need a compromise, which, don't get me wrong we don't, it would not have looked anything like the stuff that Abomb posted, it was just a bunch of idiotic things written up in 3 seconds, not giving a though even. And finally don't tell me to shut up, i'm not much of a userhater, but don't make me use my rusty shovel on you! Ha ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#54. Posted on May 22, 2005 01:06 PM. Hawthorne comes in the room with a rusty shovel and says: " THE NEXT ONE WITH A COMMENT LIKE ABOMB'S IS GONNA GET SHOVELED" Now Abomb: 1. Bans are universal, they have to have permanent bans, for assholes that just won't stop doing shit... ( sorry for the obscene words, they were needed again I apologise ) 2. Warboards is a part of sc.org, if oyu like it or not it is and you can't tell the staff who to pick, they have that right because they are the creators of this place. 3. Ag ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#55. Posted on May 19, 2005 11:31 AM. " Me thanks DP for remembering him " Well I first saw this site around 2000-2001 but forgot about it, I refound it On November 20th and on November 21st 2004 I registered both on sc.org and warboards. Me, DFIK, Delta, DP and other guys are clearly active in both parts. Well recently I haven't been very much I'm working on The Lonely Base, The Bloody Roses RP, continuying the Group Starcraft Fanfiction storyline and such plus I have to get down and learn I use all of my time at bot ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#56. Posted on May 18, 2005 10:36 PM. Well I'm glad that Hammock and PiXeLs were chosen as mods. I know Hammock farely well and I'm sure he is a good choice, PiXeLs I haven't had the oppertunity to talk to, but from what I've heard he again is a very professional guy. Sended a Feedback about a guy that had a problem sending hs Fan Fic and had posted it in a comment in one of the new fictions, half an hour later th problem was fixed and the guy was ( which Im 100% sure of ) instructed how to submit a fanfic and questioned about a ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#57. Posted on May 15, 2005 08:08 AM. Ok, SciFifreak90, I have never been agaisnt you but I protest! It's guys like you that keep this going and ruin this site, if you're so fed up go to sclegacy.com, go naywhere, just get out of our sight and stop continueing this stupid idiotical arguement. Hawthorne ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#58. Posted on May 15, 2005 03:07 AM. Respectfully, I would like to give my final comment on these ... happenings. I agree with the decision that Hammock and PiXeLs were appointed, I don't disagree with the fact that Griff was doing a tad .... stupid things at bscorg, and as a conclusion I want to say something to the guys that keep this stuff going: Give it a reat guys, you're just being paranoid and all, write a book if you're so angry, have a commitee, make oyur evil plans but stom flaming & spaming because of 1 decisi ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#59. Posted on May 13, 2005 12:02 PM. * Hawthorne comes in with semi-automatic guns, shoots everyone and calmly says:* " I told you no fighting during supper! " after which he leaves with a smirk on his face. Back on topic sorry, just wanted to get your attention for a second. Here's the info: 1. The Starcraft.org team is one of the most capable I have ever seen if not the most capable. 2. Decisions are made by the team, like it or not they made this place for your entertainment, they maintain it and this is t ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#60. Posted on May 07, 2005 08:58 AM. Thanks, there will be only 2 more parts to this story and I promise to make them grand. I'm going to finish it because I've got a lot of studying and I want to start other Fan Fictions
Again thanks for the exceptional vote
Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#61. Posted on May 06, 2005 11:05 PM. Here's who voted Pretty Bad MK...

Hawthorne ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#62. Posted on May 06, 2005 10:57 PM. Right I fixed the problem you had now it should run normally if you get "?" change the encoder or whatever
Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#63. Posted on May 06, 2005 10:26 PM. Oh sorry I forgot to say. View it with UNICODE That should fix all of the strange things. Hawthorne ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#64. Posted on May 06, 2005 11:58 AM. Take a gander at this 12 page part of the Berthas saga and give a reply,vote,rating from 1 to 10. I'm awaiting any kind of reply
Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#65. Posted on May 06, 2005 11:08 AM. * Hawthorne takes out a grenade launcher and blows DBZGTDUDE up* Heheh, sorry reflex. Well for onething it isn't half bad, but if you ask me ( and I am a good poet ) writing poetry isn't so much what you want to say as much as what you feel. See most of the poetry shows a person's feelings at the moment he was writing it. For example most of the poetry I've written is kind of pessimistic, it gives you a look on the death in wars, on the betrayel, on all of the bad natured things in lif ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#66. Posted on May 06, 2005 09:46 AM. I must say this poem is great, but frankly I'm not so happy with only this pice of art being put in the elite fiction. Frankly you're letting great pieces of art go to waste and be ofrgotten in the waste dumps if I might call them that. Anyway 1 saved 1 better. Hawthorne ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#67. Posted on May 05, 2005 12:17 PM. Great story dude. Maybe a little lacking at some parts, but overall a good story
Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#68. Posted on May 05, 2005 12:11 PM. No prob undead I'll give it a view. Aniway great tory SciFi, again another short, but well done story an Exceptional and 9.7/10 from me
Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#69. Posted on May 04, 2005 01:46 PM. Actually no bunker stories aren't worn out, this is an actual good bunker stories, the other ones are just fake ones that aren't worth reading ( well not all of 'em ). Anyway good story DFIK. Oh forgot to add I'm gonna release The Lonely Base: Part 13 in the next couple of days
Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#70. Posted on May 04, 2005 10:55 AM. Again this is a grewat piece of work. Keep them coming dude, when you finish you'll have a book to publish
Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#71. Posted on April 28, 2005 12:39 AM. Atlast you reveal the mIRC to the guys
I'll awaiting all of ye in that there room.
Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#72. Posted on April 25, 2005 05:12 AM. Btw Delta you'll help me out with the Full Edition, right?
I'm just waiting for griffy's report ( Griffonheart, who I'm gonna kill, he's been way too offline ) and I'll start part 13... if I have enough time that is...

Hawthorne
 ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#73. Posted on April 25, 2005 05:06 AM. Griffy, my good lad just incase check out your private messages and if you did not receive one from me get your butt down to the Serials and give a report on Part 12. ( I'm actually waiting for your report so I can start part 13 so yeah move along little dogy )
Hawthorne
PS: Good story, 7/10 from me ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#74. Posted on April 18, 2005 11:05 AM. I'm not sure if he wanted to insult me or if he meant that it really was scary ( I doubt that but I'll take it under fact.) Thanks for the good word DFIK, there aren't many people that would be such a good friend. Part 13 will be out soon as soon as I have a good idea in my head how to do it exactly
Hawthorne
PS: Ok he was being totally rude, he voted Pretty Bad, DFIK do me a favor and vote Good so the story won't fall out of the New List until I'm done with part 13 ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#75. Posted on April 16, 2005 10:29 AM. Well I might have to agree with you. I won't be able to cut off more than 15 parts, that's what's gonna take to finish it, IZ have a lot of studiying and I'll have to devote my free time to Pandora's Box plus maybe start a new fiction, after some of you great critics help me create the best Full Edition of the Lonely Base. I might even need help for part 14 & 15, I've got 13 figured out ... Hawthorne ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#76. Posted on April 16, 2005 01:10 AM. Congrat Delta, I didn't think anyone would see the tense changes, I tried to use them to add a litttle more complication to hte over all story. PS: Also except finding mistakes could you do me a favor and state your overall rating on the story, considering the story and not centering on the grammar
Hm, where's that DFIK!
Hawthorne
PSS: Fixed everything you pointed out thanks ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#77. Posted on April 15, 2005 10:17 AM. First of all I repeat perfection to the last %daimyo you are going to have a wonderful career ahead of you. I also thank you for taking a look at The Lonely Base: Part 12 and showing me some of my errors. Now let's get back on time. Delta & DFIK why the hell haven't you commented on my new story, normally you coment 5 minutes after I get it out. Now move your lazy cursors & monitors back to it and I want to see 2 reviews from you two or I'll be forced to do something drastic ( No I ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#78. Posted on April 14, 2005 10:58 PM. 5Daimyo, look over the story again and say what you think now
I've added something that not only you but everyone will like
Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#79. Posted on April 14, 2005 01:22 PM. PS: I'll edit the story in 10 hours I'm too tired now, nobody give a comment until I edit it, you'll know if I've edited it
Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#80. Posted on April 13, 2005 09:54 PM. Let's see. I didn't add a description to that part of the story. She wasn't putting hem in or anything. As soon as one of the men came in and told his name the computer automatically records his voice and signs in his name. About the realistic part - Reality is a bit too harsh many times, that's why I prefer a little mix. Hawthorne PS: I'll edit the part a little later tomorrow and add something to make it a little more realistic if that's your opinion, can't work on it today though ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#81. Posted on April 13, 2005 09:21 AM. Compared to the previous parts it has more action than normal. Well let's see.... mis-placed some times, badly timed not in this part, unnecessary - Nothing I write is unnecessary, even if it seems unnecessary at the moment but I clear it out in the next parts. Well nothing seems important because every detail is important. Yes you go it. I write the stories fascinating and entertaining so they keep you interested until the end. First Language - English Second Language - German Optio ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#82. Posted on April 12, 2005 10:43 AM. just let it be, DS & DP are 100% purely right. Think up something that ahsn't been used *Hawthorne - the all mighty creator of Greencraft™ runs away and published this story under " The Idiot and it's Author"* -Hawthorne ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#83. Posted on April 12, 2005 10:40 AM. Not bad at all McNewgin. Ok here's a small instruction for you: You can use First person as a small Prologue in each story, it's also used when you want to see everythig through one person's eyes, to bei nside his head. That's what makes it more complex than second or third person. For instance I use a mix of both in my stories but I've learned to balance them out well so they won't confuse readers. That's what you need, a little bit of balance. You get a 7/10 from me which Equal ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#84. Posted on April 12, 2005 10:34 AM. If you're not gonna write where are you gonna write? Don't tell me you've found a publisher? PS: I want you to look at my work of art The Lonely Base
...Click here to view this comment. |
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#85. Posted on April 12, 2005 12:10 AM. I wrote an action part, I don't think that there are gramatical mistakes except for the messed up punctuation o_0 Anyway give a vote, a rating from 1 to 10 and what you think of the story
Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#86. Posted on April 10, 2005 10:07 PM. Great story Daimyo, keep 'em coming
Didn't notice any mistakes, good grammar,good descriptions a 10/10 from me
Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#87. Posted on April 08, 2005 01:41 AM. Quote: Hey, This is the first fanfic I've ever written. Let me know what you think so I know where I can improve. I'll try to write an post the next chapter as soon as I have time. Thanks! Answer: Not bad, but take it from me any story that revises the original SC stories just won't cut it. Create a new world,new characters,new heroes,new ideals,new races, new machines,new battles, everything has to be unique and one of a kind. When you get that done you'll see it was much more satisfyi ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#88. Posted on April 04, 2005 02:44 AM. Heheh, good point you'll like the next part once it's out ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#89. Posted on April 01, 2005 11:05 PM. Damn If there's a Canadian in the mod system there has to be a bulgarian too. I've got to start following that poem. Let's see what I've followed right: Respect....well I have a mediocre lever of that,better ghet some more in a peaceful manner
Don't flame - haven't done that, don't think I ever will.
Don't be an ass - I'm not an ass in real life even
Aid People - Hm... I might have to work a little on that, haven't helped out people this month...
Responsible - Well heck if I pro ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#90. Posted on April 01, 2005 10:25 AM. Well Falcon I like to use an old saying: " There's always a gigantic storm after a brief hush..." The next two parts will probably be either in the base or I will present a new heroin
Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#91. Posted on April 01, 2005 10:05 AM. One time I saw something identical: 15 kids around the age of 10 to 12 were acting out as zerglings. If I wasn't civilised I'd go & kick 'em for them fun of it. Then at some period of my life I could say: " You know, once I fought with a group of zerglings and won all by myself." Hehehe anyway seriously funny
Hawthorne ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#92. Posted on March 30, 2005 08:49 PM. Hahahah, I guessed it. I knew you'd pick Griffy. Now Griffy I want to be totally honest with you, I want to see you progressing better than hell you hear me? I want to see that damn popular list moving faster than a wild cat or a Harley Davidson, you pick one. And by the way don't think I'm gonna let you not write because of your moderator's position
Oh and I'll still want your comments on my stories, ou have an extended view in all factors.
Hotorn gracefully congratulates Griff with M ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#93. Posted on March 29, 2005 08:31 AM. It is a good logic but again as I see it is wrong. See it's was easier to design a computer pattern for the computer players, they just gave them 3 tactis per race and put in a randomizing effect. In this case the computer just follows these pattern, it doesn't need to do anything actually.It doesn't make decisions, that's very easy to do but the game as I said is more complex than that. Chess on the other hand was very difficult to put in a computer, because there are thousands of stra ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#94. Posted on March 28, 2005 08:51 AM. Patrick you are clearly asking for it. Stop spamming,flaming or the admins might and probably will ban you for an extended period. PS: Griffonheart, I wish I could play some Backgammon with you, I'm one of the regional champs at that ame, my father was the national champion
Hotorn ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#95. Posted on March 28, 2005 02:06 AM. Wicked, next part please
Hotorn ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#96. Posted on March 28, 2005 01:59 AM. Paint ball... never actuallly played it, they don't sell those things here although we have places that just yearn for paintball disaster
Hotorn ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#97. Posted on March 28, 2005 01:32 AM. Chess is a game of logic, one way or the other you an predict your opponent's moves, but Starcraft is a game where everything is unexpected. Although we have some tactics formed for each race it depends on each player, on each person's mind to decide what,when and how to use. Every mind is different, even twins can't think totally identical, so according to this each move is unique, one of a kind and impossible to predict. You might build defences,armies to stop the opposing players but y ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#98. Posted on March 26, 2005 06:58 AM. Ok a guy told you once now I'm gonna tell it to you again this time take it as an offence in all of it's levels. Stop posting like a maniac. You're lucky none of the admins has noticed this yet. Be a little more smartNow listen to me and please do what I tell you to do. Create a new story, in it post everything that you've written up to now, and each time you feel like writing some more don't post a new story just edit the old one because when the new fiction list comes up you'll hog all t ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#99. Posted on March 24, 2005 10:09 PM. Fixedeverything plus 2-3 thing you didn't notice ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#100. Posted on March 24, 2005 02:52 AM. Well let's get on with each rave and it's pros and cons. Terran: It is the most balanced in expenditure and also attac & defence. The main attack strategies are Tank rush,Goliath Rush,Merge Rush(goliath,tanks + other units), nuke out and maybe a marine & medic attack. Defence strategies: Normally I put it into layers. First there are mine fields, after that supply depos, a few bunkers,turrets and after that tanks. Basically you change the marines in the bunkers every now an ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#101. Posted on March 24, 2005 01:52 AM. Incredible story, I just loved it. 9/10 from me dude
Sorry but I'll do a little advertising sorry in advance -
Part 11 of The Lonely Base has just been submitted, anyone who feels like it go check it out ( go to a previous part and the link to the new part will be in the "other stories by author".)
As much as I remember you liked my story DFIK and I think I'll start produceing like a hillbilly again.
PS Isn't it supposed to be "[i]" and "[/i]" in the co ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#102. Posted on March 24, 2005 01:28 AM. Well another part is out. I want comments,votes & personal opinions
Hotorn ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#103. Posted on March 14, 2005 09:48 PM. Excuse me for being a little excited but 2314 views!!!!!! Yesterday they were 500 how did they go up to 1800 in 2 days??? Hotorn ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#104. Posted on March 13, 2005 12:30 AM. You're gonna have to wait on that part for a ...???... ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#105. Posted on March 13, 2005 12:28 AM. Several damn problems. I've gotta start learning for my upocoming exams. The first poart of the year I had a 5 in math( 1/5 system) but a 3 in Bulgarian Language so I've got to start learning if I want to get in a good school ....
Not ot mention I haven't slept straight almost 2 weeks now and haven't got anything decent written up... ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#106. Posted on March 05, 2005 10:28 AM. it's great exceptional. WRITE MORE!!!!! Hotorn ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#107. Posted on March 01, 2005 11:52 AM. Heheh had some free time to experiment on rhyme in english. Oh yeah I'll post several poems soon that I created way back. -Hotorn ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#108. Posted on February 24, 2005 10:27 PM. Ok let's start off...again. First here's WWIII & WWIV what happens ( my theory ). WWIII: During WWIII the U.S.A. takes control over Canada,Cuba,Panama but when it reaches Brazil it gets beaten down because Brazil has united the remaining countries not under the control of the U.S.A. So There's U.S.A. and Brazil left there. Europe hasn't been mass united under one flag or name but they have leveled the fighting abilities and aircrafts of all of the countries thus wherever somethi ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#109. Posted on February 23, 2005 10:10 PM. Ok let's get started. The lasers are small and I do mean small about the size of a handgun and they aren't strong enough not enough generator power. And I mixed up the meaning of molecular destabelizer. Stabelizer - Jyroscope, the thing that stabelizes ship & planes. so it should have ended up that when destroyed it destabelizes all enemy ships in a 1km radius, but seeingas the zerg have no stabelizers and we can't ponder about the hm.... protoss they're just to weird I added the molecu ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#110. Posted on February 23, 2005 10:47 AM. Again thanks to Griff & DFIK fixed all of the pointed out mistakes plus a few commas and such stuff I missed although there are many more... Hotorn ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#111. Posted on February 23, 2005 10:39 AM. Well not bad but still you have some problems: 1. I saw a few punctuation and grammar errors. 2. It's still too short try to write 3 times the lenght of this one, don't hurry to get the story out people will like it more if it's longer and error-clean. 3. Needs more description to it and it is rather smashed up in 1 place making it annoying for the eye to read. That's it for now. You get a 6/10 from me again. If you improve the lenght and the spelling-punctuation you'll be get an a 8 ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#112. Posted on February 23, 2005 02:02 AM. Added a little more descriptions about the terrifying sky so that you could just feel the emotions
PS I want more votes & comments ;] ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#113. Posted on February 22, 2005 07:31 AM. Again the same problem. Ot's too short damn it. If oyu are intending to write something do it 3-4 times longer that this it's just not worth reading such short stories. Well there are some gramatical problems but that's nto something to worry about now. 6/10 - 2 points down because it's short, 1 point because of grammar and 1 point down because the whole thing seems stuffy if oyu know what I mean. Hotorn ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#114. Posted on February 22, 2005 06:56 AM. Well you don't know the system correctly or probably I'm usign an air notifiying system that is used mainly in the slavanian countries: Alpha,Bravo,Charlie,Delta - 1 passanger 1 name for each Delta Alpha - 2 passangers 1st 2 passanger plane... You get the idea. Well I need to work on my descriptions it's just that... well as people say spring is in the air ...
Well Shalashaskha I'm sorry to dissapoint you but I'm already writing 1 MS WORD page over the normal I write.
I'm writ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#115. Posted on February 22, 2005 01:55 AM. Really Off Topic, but I played the guitar up to a year ago. Lost interest in it. Oh I can play piano but only vaguely remember everything you should know ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#116. Posted on February 22, 2005 01:44 AM. Very good story I just lvoed it. 10/10 from me. When is part 2 gonna be out? ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#117. Posted on February 22, 2005 01:34 AM. Well SpacePirate I have no idea at all - haven't ever been in another country you see. I'm from Bulgaria and was invited to go stay for a week or two in Moskva by an old friend of my father. Well this year is especially gonna be tough ut I'll manage. The only thing I regret is that I don't have a laptop to take with me on the 14 day excursion. Anyway while I'm gone I would expect all of you to write good or when I do come back some of you might get holler they've never even dreamed of ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#118. Posted on February 22, 2005 01:25 AM. Fixed the gramatical mistakes and everything else I found thanks Griff. Now let's see what FIK & Delta will have to say ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#119. Posted on February 21, 2005 09:33 AM. Already begun William
Part 10 is out and edited it on the max with MS Word & 15 times without it.
The only mistake might be a missed ",".
Well I hope when the Compendium gets out it will be my best story.
One thing is for sure.
The compendium will be ready by the end of May.
After that I'll be having small amounts of time to write but indeed I will write.
Just to let you know what I'll be doing - june 7 days in Mosque,Russia. July - Test to get into hm.... I t ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#120. Posted on February 21, 2005 09:27 AM. Go Delta GO *cheers with flyffy pillows* On second thought erase that from your minds. Well Delta I think it's time to start the next story you have in mind. If you have one that is. Good luck in advance. Hotorn ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#121. Posted on February 21, 2005 09:18 AM. DELTASQUAD - I want you to ocmment on The Lonely Base: Part 10 and see my "improvement" hence part 3 of the epic. DFIK - that means you too, do your grammar check I am sure ti will be spotless. Griff - don't stop commenting every story you see ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#122. Posted on February 21, 2005 09:12 AM. If there are any mistkaes I'll be dumbfound 'cus I searched for mistakes 15 times. Well its a good part there's a little air-battle - something I haven't seen in many stories. Maybe in 2. Well I'll await feedback,comments & votes. Hotorn PS: This one's even longer than the last one. With exactly 5 lines longer ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#123. Posted on February 21, 2005 09:09 AM. PART 10 IS OUT. Just submited it. Hope you like it. I'll write maybe 2-3 more parts this week. There's a flu epidemic and no school. So I'll get on faster with the story. Horay for me
Hotorn ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#124. Posted on February 20, 2005 11:59 PM. I would say no. I've noticed that authoors make better stories. For instance let's take the best: Dan Simmons - Hyperion, The fall of Hyperion, Endymion, The triumph of Endymion. WHOEVER HASN'T READ THESE BOOKS DON'T WRITE ANYTHING ELSE BEFORE YOU READ THE FIRST 2 ATLEAST. They are a manual for writing. Trust you me. Another great authour - Aizuck Azimov made one of the best cyborg stories in the world. Martin Scott or Martin Miller with his epic Thraxas. William Forstchun with T ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#125. Posted on February 20, 2005 12:21 AM. Very nice Gamewiz it seemed very realistik. 10/10 from me. Finish it up ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#126. Posted on February 20, 2005 12:17 AM. Heheh twas very funny Stewart. Add a few more paragraphs
Hotorn
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#127. Posted on February 20, 2005 12:14 AM. Well here's my thoughts: First Problem it was really short make it 2-3 times longer than this. Second here's how you write thoughts or lecture: " Ofcourse but what am I for this world." thought the zealot. When you write thoughts or conversations you leave 1 spaceing or better yet line between all of the conversation so people won't get mixed up and can read better
Well grammer isn't extreemly off so congrats about that.
Keep Writing
I'll give you a 6/10
Hotorn ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#128. Posted on February 19, 2005 11:58 PM. I think I'm gonna get a sunoptitious syndorm PS: That's when you fall out of your chair laughing crazy... damn I should be a doctor :] Anyway serge lemme see your stories before you go offending people. Blue, DFIK mentioned almost everything that need work on ;] Hotorn ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#129. Posted on February 19, 2005 11:46 PM. Sorry for those dumb posts I made (1 in my story's comments & 1 in the fiction updates news), guess I got a little angry. Anyway thanks for seeing the problem very fast BSTRhino and I hope you get on it as soon as possible. DFIK 10x(thanks) hope it really does get some attention it really needs it although I am happy with you & Griff reading it 2's a crowd 3's a gang
By the way watch out for the next part of my story.
I'll start it today and it will be out tomorrow or even tod ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#130. Posted on February 19, 2005 11:44 PM. It survived mainly because I wanted, because when I start something I finish it. I'll finish it's remaining 11 parts in the next 2 months at most. After that I'll make a Compendium of all the parts and unite them adding new stuff,more description & a error-free line of story. And if that doesn't get on the list nothing will ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#131. Posted on February 19, 2005 06:58 AM. I'll be 14 on the 10th of April so odn't let the age discourige you, heck I've got 9 parts of my story out and all of them have been rated good although there are many gramatical mistakes. ( When you're a bulgarian that's one of the problems you're just stuck with the harsh language of the Slavanians, Trakians & Prebulgarians )
Anyway not a bad story but you need to work on it.
Overall I'll give you a 6/10 which is neither good nor average.
...Click here to view this comment. |
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#132. Posted on February 19, 2005 06:40 AM. Forget my previous decision got a little angry but I'm over it now. Well I'll post Part 10 till Monday and I hope the fans of this series continue reading it and please never mind the "comments" I made earlier todayø PS: I edited this part, lots of thanks to Griff & DFIK ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#133. Posted on February 18, 2005 11:32 PM. Great story you've got an exceptional from me dude ;] ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#134. Posted on February 18, 2005 11:28 PM. Good job Griff oyur story's on the Popular Fiction list ;] ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#135. Posted on February 18, 2005 11:26 PM. Well the new features kicked in and already there is a flaw. Some people's stories including mine didn't get on the list and even if one of the stories on the list slides down it won't be replaced by one of these stories but by one of the new ones. Thank you for ruining my day and pushing my hard works aside for lame poetry! PS: I expect this problem to be corrected in the next weeks. ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#136. Posted on February 18, 2005 11:16 PM. You definetly need to work more on your rhymeing... ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#137. Posted on February 18, 2005 11:12 PM. I don't like it at all. ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#138. Posted on February 18, 2005 11:09 PM. Ok now I'm really fed up, the damn Fan Fiction list is short and my story didn't even get in it, not to mention I did a hell of a lot thinking to get a good stor for this part and now I'm gonna have to wait another 2 WEEKS for my next part to even enter and it might not ener the FF list. OK MY SERIES HAS JUST BEEN DOOMED BY THE F***ING FF LIST. [68 bad words later] and believe you me someine is gonna get a hell of a lot complaints from ok I've made a decision I'll write 1 more part and ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#139. Posted on February 16, 2005 09:46 PM. Short,meaningless,stupid,gramatical problems IT HAS GOT TO BE DELETED 0/10 GOnna have to report this story & the previous idiotical number of a story you did! ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#140. Posted on February 15, 2005 09:00 AM. Mystikal you remember that feedback I sent you, the first one I actually sended. Look it up I posted a reply but you never answered it. Anyway great ideas for the site... ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#141. Posted on February 15, 2005 02:10 AM. I have a suggestion tat you open new jobs especially for the Elite Fiction. DeltaSquad and DFIK are the most accurate users here, they know which stories are good, you've missed a lot of good ones that deserve to e on the Elite Fiction... Anyway cool feature my story will be in the new feature batch... YEAH
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#142. Posted on February 15, 2005 12:43 AM. Give your opinion,vote and point our mistakes. I want major feedback on this one ;] DFIK - dI <|@<|@) Forgot to add I made this one's length like the first 3 parts like people said. ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#143. Posted on February 15, 2005 12:41 AM. Well The Lonely Base: Part 9 has just been submitted and will be out in a day or two when the new list comes out :] ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#144. Posted on February 12, 2005 09:44 AM. Hope is humanity's greatest weapon and greatest weakness. For me it is a weapon, and it keeps me going. Plus if 20 parts isn't enough I'll just keep going. PS: Maybe they should make DFIK & Delta the ones in chage of the Elite Fiction, they know the best stories... ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#145. Posted on February 11, 2005 11:31 PM. Gonna finish the story in #20. However after that I'll unite all of the parts, do a greater deal of editing, add some more to the story and repost it in it's finished style. And if god is with me I might be lucky or talented enought that it gets into the Elite Fiction :] ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#146. Posted on February 09, 2005 10:11 PM. Can't wait for them. Hope they're as good as these united parts ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#147. Posted on February 09, 2005 09:58 PM. I give a 9/10 just for the sake you don't get mad and start writing pisspoor story because of all the good votes & comments that came in. Good story Write some more Hotorn ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#148. Posted on February 09, 2005 09:45 PM. Glad I don't spam the list like that. I have only the usuakl 1 fanfic. But Scwitzer is right, up to a point that is... Anyway McNewgin is right... ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#149. Posted on February 09, 2005 01:29 AM. Well happy anniversary, although I've been visiting the sc.org & warboards.org for 2-3 months I feel a part of it and in general am grateful to the staff that keeps everything going :] ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#150. Posted on February 09, 2005 01:25 AM. Well I'm expecting a lot of feedback on this one. I think I eliminated most of the gramatical mistakes but if you find any mention it in a comment. Oh and don't forget to vote ;] Hotorn ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#151. Posted on February 09, 2005 12:27 AM. Not bad at all.&#10;I must say I like it... ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#152. Posted on February 08, 2005 09:14 AM. Today I edited this part to make it easier to read and to fix any grammar problems. I'll shortly post the next part & edit another of the parts for such gramatical problems ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#153. Posted on February 07, 2005 11:26 AM. Ok. Well watch out for the next part. It'll be out in a few days. Good thing there's a flu epidemic in my region or I would have finished it in the weekend... ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#154. Posted on February 01, 2005 11:22 AM. Silver1Penguin you're mistaken. Scythe it a weapon, synth is arm-like but has some of the scythe characteristics ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#155. Posted on February 01, 2005 11:21 AM. Where would be able to find you online? ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#156. Posted on February 01, 2005 09:52 AM. Comment, cote , give suggestions & everything else you can think up. PS: Awaiting your usual grammar check-up DFIK :] Hotorn ... Click here to view this comment. |
