Starcraftchamp
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#1. Posted on May 02, 2007 04:42 PM. Why?.... Why?.. lol. I'm not even going to give a rebuttal here. This piece is more than a year old -- it was conceived approximately 18 months ago. Every one of your qualms -- and more that no one could possibly have time to delve into -- is true.... Except for one.. 
"How do Zerg suddenly get smart? They can't make decisions on their own."
Even though the ideas I had a year and a half ago grow vague, I still recall intending to allow the reader the chance to 'jump the gap' ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#2. Posted on April 21, 2007 07:55 PM. (OT: ... A little bit mussed up. I think we all need to read each other's posts slower. Haladras is still in his dank mausoleum, remember?) A small band of marines dashed from the underbrush on the sidelines of the paintball course, hoisting deadfast onto their soldiers and toting him from the battlefield as he continued upchucking varying amounts of orange paint. Geckat was now alone. Haladras had teleported back to his undead army for the second time (where he intended to stay, as he p ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#3. Posted on April 16, 2007 08:21 PM. ...and then looked away. No clone could ever match his maker's ability to hold a stare. (OT: My... anal love life? Clone, we will have a long talk, with many torture accoutrements...) An uncomfortable silence developed. Several hundred clones, still holding paintball guns, shuffled their feet anxiously. deadfast coughed a few pointed times before retiring to a listless, arm-crossing position. Champ (out of the gene pool for the moment), Haladras and Geckat slowly inched their way away f ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#4. Posted on April 13, 2007 10:56 PM. (OT: PFR3 was good until ~comment # 150. Which was, incidentally, the approximate point where I joined up. o.O) General Haladras stood on a pinnacle that had been created upon the collision of the battle cruiser and the bunker, forcing the frontal plated armor into a huge spire. Circled around him were his cohorts, the rest of the generals and Clone98, who continued ranting about a field of pansies. Or posies. Or some such nonsense. "Keep pushing forth!" yelled Haladras to his ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#5. Posted on April 13, 2007 04:03 AM. (OT: Don't you mean PFR 5.~6? PFR3 sucked..) "Eh ... One-niner, what is your current target?" "Say wha-? Oh.. I was just ..." "Get back to the battlefield before I ... Holy crap!" "Sorry, sir, re-engaging enemy forces." "Maintain current heading. Any attempts to follow myself will result in immediate destruction." He paused. "Of you, not myself." He paused again. "In case you couldn't tell." "I couldn' ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#6. Posted on April 11, 2007 10:05 PM. OT: Everyone coming here is voting exceptional, right? ... Right? *cocks shotgun* So ... Are we still posting? We keep it running until Torrasque gets the post up, correct? With SolidSamurai in control of the known universe, times were hard. Unbridled famines raged on the border planets while the cities of the larger globes thrived. Crime and violence sprang up unhindered wherever law and order had dissipated, which was most of the universe. The instigator of such terrible cruelty, S ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#7. Posted on March 28, 2007 03:14 AM. OT: Haladras? What anarchic demon possessed you to create such an abomination? Another PFR? ... *takes deep breaths* Just make sure you're here often to delete 'crap posts.' And, just to clarify, you do count perversion as a non-beneficial addition, correct? They came in hordes. Innumerable xenomorphs, fangs bared, rushed toward the bunker and the swarm of clones. The clones' sight was impaired by the listless fog that hung over the bleak darkness. They didn't notice their foes until they wer ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#8. Posted on March 16, 2007 03:14 AM. No, wait! Don't stop! ... I just forgot to comment before. Have you sent out PMs yet? Most people don't show up to read stuff unless they hear about it -- more than two or three comments without PMing people is practically a record right now. Anyways, great story. The formatting held me at arm's length for a while, but once I got around to reading it, it was great! Spacing it out, though, would probably be a bit more newbie friendly. Just a tip ... I'm pressed for time, so I can't leave a ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#9. Posted on March 15, 2007 04:17 AM. Whiner. C'mon, Clone. You have, like, 10 comments that AREN'T yours, and 6 votes ... Not to mention a spot on the Popular Fiction list. This story was a success. It will now commence crumbling and burning until it's buried under a ten-foot pile of soot and ash somewhere in the Short Story section, but it had its moment of glory ... Right? 
GJ on getting readers ... Now go write Lonely Outpost!
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#10. Posted on March 01, 2007 11:57 PM. It seems pretty good. The grammar and dialogue are a little bit weak ... small vocabulary, but you've got a good plot going. The tech specs, however, left me rather confused. Care to clarify? RCFS-111? ZM4A3? Nice job all around. -Good- -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#11. Posted on February 21, 2007 05:12 AM. ....Not much time for a length comment, but a few things to mention: You didn't use correct internet format, and as a result my eyes are growing bleary from the wall of text ... Those little spaces really make it easier to read -- not to mention make your story appear lengthier. All ... was it four? ... of your Wraith pilots' names start with 'C'. Heckuva confusing! I can't keep track of which one's where. The line "Fuck. The bitches have backup!" was used so plentifully I won ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#12. Posted on February 20, 2007 03:59 AM. Hey, DocOc! How goes SC.org right now? ... How's Infested coming? (I think that's your new story, right?) Hiya, Geckat! What do you mean here I am? Didn't you see proto's poem? I posted ... TWO comments. ... Recently! I'm back, Clone, and ready to read this time. I've got time, I think. First off, the opening scene was a pretty good hook. The onomatopoeia in the ... was it third sentence? ... really pulls you into the action. You go on to talk about the gruesomeness of zerglings in a ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#13. Posted on February 17, 2007 11:26 PM. Eh... I think you wrote this in a text document. Formatting's screwed up ... Unless, of course, you intended the double-spacing. Which, incidentally, isn't correct internet format... A bit hard to read at the moment, and I'm pressed for time, so get to work on fixing it up and I'll be back to read it all later! Regardless of whether or not you actually do rectify the error.
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#14. Posted on February 10, 2007 01:31 AM. "Its a technicality. Imho, its immaterial." I'm just used to offering corrections for short stories in which the author is attempting a narrative story rather than extremely free verse poetry . In your case, I would agree that it's unimportant.
"This was one of my major flaws. I'm used to poetry, where the general idea and theme is more important than a flowing and detailed account of what actually transpired."
And superb poetry you write, too.
"It's re ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#15. Posted on February 09, 2007 03:08 AM. There are many speakers of English for whom it is their second language that one would be unable to tell such because of their immense vocabularies. Seeing as there are a number of Asians on this website, I thought it not too presumptious to make a guess. I apologize for my criticism of the lack of descriptions. In reading over your previous comments I unfortunately missed the sentence where you admitted to this. Would you care to offer explanations for some of the other objections I point ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#16. Posted on February 08, 2007 07:12 AM. Your Mum. Not only is it British English, it's also very funny. "Your Mum." Aha! I used to be very good at those jokes. Except for the fact that it's "Yo Mamma" in American English instead of the quaint accent. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#17. Posted on February 08, 2007 07:01 AM. Nice, proto. Good work. But just that: Good. I haven't maintained steady contact with you -- or any contact for that matter -- so I'm not aware of your nationality. I assume English isn't your first language... Every now and then you would throw in a slightly unused word (lieu, emininent tendrils), but for the most part your vocabulary was.... lacking. Descriptions were also quite weak. Like Haladras said, some metaphors and similes would be nice. When Jeff falls off the truck, it is exceedin ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#18. Posted on September 20, 2006 01:21 AM. Yesch. We WERE....... Actually, Clone's testing the water -- we'll get some stylistic reviews for the first chapter, take the feedback, process it, and hopefully come out with a better second part of our trilogy. *cough* Right, Clone? *cough* 
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#19. Posted on September 01, 2006 01:57 AM. 1. Black Emblem, yes. 2. Next to the web address at the top of your internet browser. 3. I dunno. 4. I haven't been on for a while. It could have been up here a week for all I know. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#20. Posted on August 31, 2006 04:53 PM. Way to handle that, Hybrid. You're sinking to their level when you do that. And K'tan, if you wish to retain sanity, stop posting! Your mind will slowly disintegrate if you hang out with morons too much. You've only got 3 more posts this poll and then you'll be a n00bz0rz. On a different note, has anyone else noticed the black emblem next to the web address? When did that get there? -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#21. Posted on August 25, 2006 08:06 PM. Ah. Infinity. Glad I voted for it. That means that my number is both odd and even, right? As well as any other number in existence. I think I win. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#22. Posted on August 25, 2006 08:05 PM. Hmm... how'd you get the dark background? Nice. I'd say that Lego(TM) should start doing black backgrounds, too, if they could get it to look as nice as yours. The robot itself was stunning. The color choices bothered me a little bit, because as you well know, the real Goliath isn't tan or light gray, it's a metallic dark gray, but as such a color is difficult to obtain, you're 'clear'. XD Keep up the good work. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#23. Posted on August 25, 2006 07:51 PM. 1: Dark and High Templar merging into Archons. 2: The Psionic Transmitter or whatever that lured the Zerg. Not very difficult, but your poetic style is what makes it worth it .
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#24. Posted on August 19, 2006 02:08 AM. Hours? What's Hours? Oh yeah! Hours! Of course. That's what I play every day. Oh yeah... week. I still think I play Hours a week. -'Champ (what the heck is a ''?) ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#25. Posted on August 19, 2006 01:39 AM. Keep working, smasher. Don't let school bog you down. I hate school. I have no time to myself between school and being on the internet. I have no time to write. ....what do you mean stop getting on the internet?.... -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#26. Posted on August 09, 2006 11:16 PM. I barely had time for that ^^. I'll try to read your story later. Wait... it's the last PM you sent that I need to read, right? -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#27. Posted on August 09, 2006 02:26 AM. I hit popular? I HIT POPULAR! BREAK OUT THE DORITOS AND PEPSI, EVERYONE! Man, I wish DontShoot were here to celebrate with me... XD Thanks for your comment, Clone.... btw, when were you online? Why weren't you on MSN? *brandishes knife* And you're right, DocOc. This is definitely not elite material. I'm actually surprised it made it on the pop list (as I subtly hinted above). -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#28. Posted on July 21, 2006 02:23 AM. DontShoot, of course. Awesome poem powers, lengthy and delayed chapters. Dude... you should have seen the things my opponent said when I came in with eight DontShoots right at the beginning.... though I don't really like typing out cuss words and the sheer number would have me slaving at my keyboard for much longer than I would prefer to stay. But what about the DocOc rush? That's even funnier to pull on newbies. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#29. Posted on July 17, 2006 11:14 PM. See ya' later, DontShoot. Sorry it took so long to get here but I've been inactive for a while. Too bad that joint fiction never worked out... whenever I see it amidst the other stories on my computer I'll most likely think of you . I do hope you return sometime, if for nothing else than to say 'hey!'. Geckat seems pretty sure you will and he has experience .
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#30. Posted on July 10, 2006 11:26 PM. Yeah, Haladras already got back to me on that. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#31. Posted on July 08, 2006 11:14 PM. Grand, Haladras, grand. I heard you whining about the lack of comments before and thought you were just an immature freak having a crisis because he didn't get at least 10 comments on the first day........ I thought wrong. This is a beautiful piece from beginning to end, with flamboyant descriptions and an excellent narrative style. Of course, it hasn't ended yet, and I must say that I'm glad of that -- for it means I have more to look forward to. Do I just say in my comment that I nominat ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#32. Posted on July 07, 2006 06:09 PM. Eh? I'm not going to give you a review -- I just don't have enough time these days. Perhaps if you post the prologue I'll read that. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#33. Posted on July 02, 2006 12:36 AM. Ah, these wonderful comments got me psyched so I dled the whole story in order to read it... sorry for not doing that before. Can't wait to see what all you wrote. Geckat, minus and SciFi make it sound pretty good. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#34. Posted on June 29, 2006 11:42 PM. "Yep. that just sounds very fishy. The money was probably obtained illegally and they need to get it out of the country somehow. So moving it to your account long enough to withdraw it meanwhile you take the fall from any authorities." No Ixion, that's not his plan at all. He wants you to tell him your bank account numbers so he can take every last penny from your account and transfer it to his. Even if he just gets $1 (or $9.99 from smasher, lol), if he gets 1 dollar from enough pe ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#35. Posted on June 29, 2006 06:59 AM. Heh, I was one of the lucky 11 out of all these people? I feel... chosen... And Dutch, he and me can't copy-paste it here because the Staff deleted all the messages. Basically, it was a nice lengthy Nigerian spam message. If you have an email account, look at one of the many Nigerian spams you have received and insert Paully Jaja whenever the people say themselves .
Really weird that spam like that has invaded our beloved SC.org... Staff protect us! lol
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#36. Posted on June 25, 2006 11:31 PM. Wow, you actually reviewed it, Geckat! I don't even care about the multitude of criticisms... I have a deep peace inside... lol. If you read the individual chapters, you'll see that I myself was upset with how much of a 'dialoguer' this story turned out to be. It was also really short so I didn't have very much unrelated stuff (which other people whined at me for in previous chaps ). I'll try to get more of that junk in The Ghost Ship, lol.
Glad you liked it... sort of liked it .
...Click here to view this comment. |
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#37. Posted on June 21, 2006 05:48 AM. @ DocOc: Yeah, vote. The more the merrier. And what do you mean this is as long as one chapter of another story? Have you looked at that tiny scroll bar?
@ Tom: Glad you liked it enough to review it. And yes, I can just see BloodBane coming here and totally chewing me out because I didn't have enough references to SC .
I turned to madness because I wrote myself into a corner and needed an easy escape route...and I was getting a little tired of TheChancellor. That explains why the bad ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#38. Posted on June 18, 2006 06:12 AM. Whoops, double post... don't know how that happened... -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#39. Posted on June 17, 2006 06:39 PM. Ha ha ha! Good idea, Judicator An Darin. Thank you for the HUMOROUS REPETITION AWARD. I now feel famous. I, Starcraftchamp, give Tom the BEST WRITING NEWB AWARD, for coming in to SC.org and already writing something like the Fearless Incident. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#40. Posted on June 17, 2006 06:36 PM. Uh... uh... something to say... I GOT COMMENT # 1 IN THE POLL ONCE!!... uh... yeah... -'Champ P.S. Nice siggy. I might put a quote in my siggy. Think that would look okay? P.P.S. You overlapped me, Geckat... grr ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#41. Posted on June 17, 2006 06:35 PM. I just put up TheChancellor compiled and shamelessly ripped off Tom's title. Whaddya'll think, should I change the name? Or leave it as a joke? I might check out MEDAL of HONOR Prologue: Initiative later, JA... not feeling up to some heavy reading right now. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#42. Posted on June 17, 2006 06:34 PM. Wow, long and grand, Geckat. I can't believe you've actually put up more of Half-Sane... it's been a while since the last chapter. Wanna say more, but I gotta go now. -'Champ (btw, what was up with your edit? Who has comment # 1337?) ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#43. Posted on June 17, 2006 06:31 PM. Okay, this sounds good. Keeping under control... I like that. How about some other changes, though. No swearing AT ALL. Funny, but not good for a PFR. And no completely random junk. With those out of the way, I think I'll like FREECRAFT a lot better than PFR. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#44. Posted on June 17, 2006 06:28 PM. Ha ha ha! Good idea, Judicator An Darin. Thank you for the HUMOROUS REPETITION AWARD. I now feel famous. I, Starcraftchamp, give Tom the BEST WRITING NEWB AWARD, for coming in to SC.org and already writing something like the Fearless Incident. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#45. Posted on June 17, 2006 06:25 PM. Seriously? Avg? Aw, Tom, I thought you could take a joke . If I had known you would react like this....
Want me to change the title for you?
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#46. Posted on June 17, 2006 12:57 AM. *restarts flame war* Puh, a smiley is as far from a period as can be. It's... a.... well... something else. Notice I put the smiley AFTER the period.
And only in British English does humor have a 'u' and color have a 'u'. Please, humOr me and accept that . Oh wait... you are British. Nevermind, continue your evil ways.
*ends flame war again*
-'Champ
(oh, and just in case you couldn't tell, that was all one big joke .)
(You don't put a dot in when you're saying period. V ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#47. Posted on June 17, 2006 12:51 AM. Because there's no Good.5 .
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#48. Posted on June 16, 2006 04:59 AM. Zerg won before, they'll win again. None can stand up to the swarms.... THEY CAN'T!! -'Champ (#5, best since #1 for me...) ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#49. Posted on June 16, 2006 04:58 AM. Heh, no more gore, PhMar. Ruins the story for some of us... Great story, protossalliance! Much better than the first part. Space the stuff out, get a proofreader and you'll have a winner on your hands. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#50. Posted on June 16, 2006 04:51 AM. Heh, that was fast after Backwater Station. Good job on this story. Wins Exceptional from me. Can't spend time with a lengthy review 'cause there's a lot of other stuff out there that I've missed during the last three days of my absence... -'Champ (btw, protossalliance, don't do the whole politics thing here. That kind of stuff is reserved for the polls XD.) ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#51. Posted on June 16, 2006 04:48 AM. Ha ha, funny. Reminds me of my comments in PFR 5.~6. Still, it was quite rushed and you would benefit a lot from waiting several days in between submissions. Read over your stuff, make corrections, etc. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#52. Posted on June 16, 2006 04:45 AM. Little on the short side like Tom said. Not too bad. Well written. Gets a good. I'll go read the rest of Medal of Honor now. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#53. Posted on June 16, 2006 04:44 AM. You just can't get over that EF idea, can you, Tom? I've been writing for HALF A YEAR and haven't been nominated or made it on. And I'm a complete newb in comparison to some of these guys who have been here for ages and eons and years. You've been here, what, a month now? Good job on the story protossalliance. Can't wait to read more! -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#54. Posted on June 16, 2006 04:42 AM. Ha ha ha! Another great installment, haukas. Surprisingly enough, I don't mind the fact that English isn't your first language and thus stuff ends up messed up. With Tom I give him no peace... You didn't end 'It is in the humour section, JA' with a period. And you misspelled humor, Tom.
Keep it up, haukas!
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#55. Posted on June 15, 2006 04:43 PM. Yeah, SciFi, can you send me all the SC weapon specs you have? If you could PM them to me, that'd be great. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#56. Posted on June 07, 2006 06:13 PM. lol, fine then. Don't double post when asking for comments .
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#57. Posted on June 07, 2006 06:13 PM. It's not EF. It made it onto the pop because right now 4 votes bring it up there. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#58. Posted on June 07, 2006 05:19 AM. Great story! Nice character development and the plot is coming on strong. I can feel for Wrothgar and some of the other people... no other particulars, though .
I didn't like the Terran interaction with him, but it was okay.
Wins a good!
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#59. Posted on June 07, 2006 04:42 AM. Real bro or just slang? .
I understand the pixies entirely, Tom.... If I could have a penny for every time they've bit off one of my digits... I would have ten cents.
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#60. Posted on June 07, 2006 04:39 AM. Exceptional DocOc and DarkFury. Good job. You got the emotion down well and I'm glad that you had more than just a letter in this one. Excep -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#61. Posted on June 07, 2006 04:38 AM. Uh... quick review here. The beginning feels more like the middle of a chapter to me, rather than the beginning. You should end you chapters with cliffhangers and make the next chapter start off interesting. GJ with the realistic dialogue. Keep up the good work. Nothing much to rag on you for... don't triple post when complaining about a lack of comments. It gets rather annoying -_- -'Champ "Exceptional.." ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#62. Posted on June 06, 2006 05:58 PM. Yeah. Great sense of humor and all, but too many repititions can get annoying. I'd say leave it at this and then if someone else does something like this, everyone'll go "Oh look, he's pulling a Leeroy." In fact, as it is, you've done too many of these... -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#63. Posted on June 06, 2006 05:55 PM. DocOc, still thy tongue. Mayhap he hath trouble communicating just what was first intended. I don't think it's a good policy to call poor typers 'stupid'. Remember, you catch more flies with honey.... Hmm. That memory thing seems kind of eerie. I would hate to be taken prisoner and then suddenly just be a soldier. Would you mind telling me how this relates to Characterisation, though? -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#64. Posted on June 06, 2006 03:53 AM. Two a week? He- er, ahem... HA- *cough* *cough*. Well, maybe I can understand that somewhat. I feel the same way on a bad day. Actually, what I'll do is go in and mess around with the format, stare at it, wonder if the next part I'm going to write is interesting and if it isn't I'll go play Starcraft or work on my Laser Tag map. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#65. Posted on June 05, 2006 06:41 PM. Don't worry, DocOc. In this one all I did was add in the HTML tags (which I now regret because they're so screwy  ) and fix the period comma stuff. And capitals. And some misused words. Nothing major .
However, in Goliath, I didn't just change anything. I made an entirely new story and then wrote it from scratch, with the original Goliath series as a blueprint.
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#66. Posted on June 05, 2006 06:36 PM. Yeah. Don't paste from MS Word. I think this is going to be my 5th time saying this, but save your MS Word file as a .txt and allow character substitution and it'll fix your problem. You type a page/hour every day???? On a good day I can get 2 pages in MS Word per hour. On a bad day I'm lucky to get half a page that whole day, regardless of how long I spend writing. Do you have ups and downs? -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#67. Posted on June 05, 2006 07:39 AM. Yeah. Smirk is overused, but not too bad. I don't like stories with direct quotes out of Starcraft (I think I whined at you about that before) but you managed to assimilate it in okay. Gets a good. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#68. Posted on June 05, 2006 07:37 AM. GJ, AzureWrath. Even better than part 1. Keep up the good writing .
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#69. Posted on June 05, 2006 07:36 AM. Now it's approved. To fix the Center tag (which got messed up YET AGAIN), add in a '<' at the top 'center>' and that'll finish that. Then on the other side of 'Chapter II', copy this in without the apostrophes: '</center> I hope that'll fix it... this is why I hardly ever use HTML tags even though they add to the story somewhat... -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#70. Posted on June 05, 2006 07:34 AM. Great, DontShoot! Glad that you finally got moving and wrote something else--though I would rather read some more Unit: 408. Wonderful style and the overuse of 'dust' actually helped things along. With your initial description I thought the room was empty, then when you had the guy in there, it provided an excellent feeling. However, I don't like Booth. Is he schizo? Because he keeps on switching between being the calm, cool science geek and a slang-using person much like your main character. ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#71. Posted on June 05, 2006 07:25 AM. There were a few syllable errors, but other than that, this was quite a good piece. GJ, Azure. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#72. Posted on June 04, 2006 05:58 PM. (OT: Aw, you guys are so nice. Not only did you leave me alive, you kept the plot from going all screwy )
AzureWrath was cover for our noble heroes. With his faithful and never-running-out-of-ammunition Gauss Rifle, he stood beside Flame and kept the Zealots at bay.
SilverScreen was leading a charge of Jedi and stuff... whatever help had come... and trying to press through the thicket of Haladras and bloodbane's army to kill the demented leaders.
Meanwhile, up in the air, Champ flew ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#73. Posted on June 04, 2006 05:45 PM. I've only gotten through chapter 3. And that only because I read 1 and 2 previously. Your vocabulary is great and not repititious and yet it's so long. Did you already have this all written out before you came to SC.org? Or do you do nothing but write all day? Anyhow, this deserves a place in the Pop Fiction for a while--if not, EF would be my next vote. Not too much to complain about. You used 'foul' twice in the same sentence (the foul water spilled out, carrying foul flotsam). That's about ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#74. Posted on June 04, 2006 05:30 PM. Hmm. Okay guide. I couldn't really use this stuff much, but it would probably be helpful to some other people. -'Champ (btw, thx for using my example ) ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#75. Posted on June 03, 2006 11:34 PM. (OT: Wow, psycho Haladras [J/K, you're not really psycho ] killed me... Thanks for bringing me back, Lurker. Now that I'm back from the grave--and the bed--I'll try to restore some order.)
(OOC: Oh yes, btw, how about we get rid of all the characters that haven't posted for a while? If they want to remain, they can reinsert themselves. Too many characters can get annoying...)
The intervention over and all the characters slowly regaining control of their senses, they began to scan the a ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#76. Posted on June 03, 2006 02:18 AM. (OT: We aren't sitting around making smores. Random things like that CANNOT be tolerated.) Instead of sitting around a sizzling campfire eating smores, our heroes are crouched behind the temple, sitting around a... campfire--but eating mangoes instead of smores .
Champ was shocked at how rapidly two heroes could enter a storyline and exit. Now he, DontShoot and Lurker were faced with an all new menace.
"Lurker! Torch 'im!" ordered Champ.
The dragon obliged, raising up h ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#77. Posted on June 03, 2006 02:09 AM. lol, yeah, I was tired... Thanks for the correction, Tom .
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#78. Posted on June 02, 2006 06:30 PM. (OT: Cool. New plot. Instead of controlling everyone, I'll slip in somewhere and let Geckat be omniscient .)
The dragon, however, waited not for an entire group, but for his one true companion. Through the space-time rift, friendships had been made and broken and entire histories had been changed.
The dragon's friend at last came crunching through the underbrush, waving a deadly looking sword around.
This new character was short of stature and light of foot. A deep green cloak compl ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#79. Posted on June 02, 2006 06:07 PM. Good question . I'm not really sure--but it helps the plot a little bit.
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#80. Posted on June 02, 2006 06:00 PM. @ Delta: Yes... unfortunately there is a lot of gore ( ) on the market nowadays.... and yes I must agree that there is quite a possibility that we writers here on SC.org could get published writing such stories, but perhaps we could make a move towards pulling fiction in general out of the slut? meh... probably not.
Keep writing, Tom!
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#81. Posted on June 02, 2006 05:48 AM. (OT: Hey, chinkee. Sorry, forgot you... You can come with the Psionic Group, k?) Champ took care of the Xel'Nagan with a lightsaber. Then, with chinkeeyong25 accompaning them, they set off... -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#82. Posted on June 02, 2006 03:46 AM. I didn't notice the 'Thesaurus Disease' in this one, Delta, but then again your eye is turned to find every flaw that presents itself .
Hmm... a lot of this stuff pertains to my own work as well, so I guess I'd better take a step back from DocOc's stuff for a while and correct my own flaws.
I agree especially with the colloquialisms and slang unuse, though. In the last chapter, the general used that stuff a little bit, but not so here, unfortunately. Don't worry, DocOc. Bounce up from De ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#83. Posted on June 02, 2006 01:19 AM. (OT: I would never forget someone as important as TOM, lol J/K) ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#84. Posted on June 01, 2006 11:32 PM. (OT: I didn't kill you off bloodbane... but anyhow... Oh yes, smasher, I won't infest you anymore.. hopefully... unless it's convenient .)
-----________________________-----
Chapter 1: The Xel'Nagan
"Smasher?" asked Geckat in awe. "You made it through the reset, too? Cool! But why are you a... Jedi?"
smasher looked around anxiously. He thought he had been better hidden. "I... uh... I just am. Howdy!"
Champ looked up from the old guy. "smas ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#85. Posted on June 01, 2006 07:38 PM. (OT: 30 comments overnight... I'm going to have to push the reset button now...) SCChamp, back from the Exiled Realm with lash marks all over his back, saw the havoc created by the 30+ comments written overnight. Trying to piece together all the random bits and pieces, he realized that such a task was impossible, due to the random comments inserted here and there. So, calling upon Tom and Champ, the only free non-godmodders in PFR 5.~6, he prepared to press the reset button. As he ind ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#86. Posted on June 01, 2006 07:01 PM. Of course we aren't professional, DontShoot, but that doesn't give us an excuse to act unprofessional. The more we can cut down on the violence here on SC.org, the easier it'll be somewhere else. Tom, I can understand how hard it would be to write Fearless's mind out. Someone with no fear... that would be quite a challenge to write. I can empathize with you a little more now .
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#87. Posted on June 01, 2006 06:37 AM. (OT: Dutch, you're infested by MaF... again. Tom, thank you for stopping with the strange animals. You're saving me a lot of headache.) "So.." began Tom. "The last I saw of you you were flying off, listening to a tie pin. Then you were captured by Orcs. How are you here right now?" Lurker leaned closer to the tie pin. "No, precious. I don't want to incapacitate the nice man. MUST KILL! No, mustn't... mustn't HURT HURT HIM BAD!! YAHAHA!" "What?" ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#88. Posted on June 01, 2006 01:27 AM. (OT: Yeah, it's kind of fun when we all hang out in the same area, but different quests are interesting too. Oh, and smasher is with DontShoot and Dutch, DocOc and Nederbird, not with the psionics. As of now I think there's eleven people. MaFiCuS in one part, ready to get more Hybrids. Champ, Tom, Azure, Geckat and SS setting off to kill the Xel'Naga. And then there's smasher, DontShoot, DocOc, Dutch and Nederbird. smasher, you do not have your own story. If people get you in some place fairly, ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#89. Posted on May 31, 2006 07:34 PM. "More, I live in Manchester... you don't get more British than that. (runs and hides while other British people flame him. mainly those users privelidged enough to come from Stoke...)" Manchester is pure-blooded British? What's Stoke? lol, all the British people are gonna flame me... "I see what you mean about the body count (even if they are all bugs ). ALthough this part of the story may appear quite violent, this diminishes as the story progressess. The work in progress ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#90. Posted on May 31, 2006 07:16 PM. (OT: One little night's sleep and you guys cruelly twist everything. Where are we exactly? Anyways...) MaFiCuS picked up the delicacy, swallowed it in one gulp and then did the same to Captain Pancakes. That taken care of, she turned to view the battlefield, wielding her butterfly knife. Champ, SS, Azure and Geckat and Tom had been teleported from Geckat's house at some point and were fighting alongside Tom the godmodder with too many cool toys. MaFiCuS's evil army was basically dead. ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#91. Posted on May 31, 2006 04:40 AM. (OT: OT means Off-Topic. I have no clue what OCC means... Geckat just uses it to be different . W00T W00T is kind of like a cheer... or victory cry or something like that  )
Suddenly the arena emptied because LOST started. Our heroes were alone... and MaFiCuS had prepared an infestation that could capture psionic beings...
-'Champ
(OT: lol, sorry it's so short. g2g) ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#92. Posted on May 31, 2006 03:46 AM. (OT: Some people obviously didn't read the comments... they ran away with stuff. Thanks for pulling the plot back, Tom. Oh, btw, you're a copycat )
"I'm afraid anyone can get caught in a temporal loop," said the scientist.
"I'm afraid you keep saying the same thing over and over," shouted Champ from the pile of mucus.
While he wasted his breath arguing with the stupid scientist, Geckat and Azure were holding of MaFiCuS and her minions. SS had another lightsaber o ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#93. Posted on May 30, 2006 08:09 PM. (OT: lol, I think I'll just add to mine again, to cement it . Oh yeah, btw, to some of the other members who are using some... ahem... language.. please discontinue that practice. Let's keep things fun here, DontShoot. I mean, not that your *-swearing isn't fun, but, well, I think you know what I mean...)
...But the battle wouldn't be impossible. In fact, there were already some apparent advantages being grant Champ's squad. For one, Geckat had found that none of the Psionic Powered being ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#94. Posted on May 30, 2006 06:51 PM. (OT: Hey, I kind of like that battle... I think SCChamp's going to teleport us back . Oh, btw, Champ and SCChamp are different people. SCChamp's a godmodder.)
SCChamp stroked his stubbly beard. "Hey, I kind of like that battle... I think I'm going to teleport us back . Oh, btw, Champ and SC-wait, darn it, I'm stating the previously stated..."
Champ shook his head sadly. Then SCChamp used his godmodding powers, along with Tom. All the characters (albeit a few I'm going to get ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#95. Posted on May 30, 2006 02:46 AM. (OT: It doesn't matter where you are. If the last person doesn't make a really clear distinction of where you are, don't sweat it. All that matters is that you keep the plot moving.) -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#96. Posted on May 29, 2006 11:28 PM. (OT: It's the same difference. Oh, and there aren't a bunch of different stories. It's all one story, though right now it's kind of split up. You and DontShoot are on the way to fight MaFiCuS and free the other members. They're coming to kill you guys. Champ, Geck and SS are trying to kill a Xel'Naga.) smasher and DontShoot's ride into outer space was interrupted by a series of explosions caused by a bunch of Scourge. The tiny creatures slammed into the hull of the immortal battlecruiser, blo ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#97. Posted on May 29, 2006 09:46 PM. First comment, lol. Wonderful story! Everything's going along good, and I wish I could talk more about the good stuff, but I'm no good at that (lol), so I'll skip straight to the bomb..... I like how large your vocabulary is. Everything seems very professional here. However, you use some words too much. Mainly I noticed that 'ichor' and 'xenomorph' were used a lot. Big words are good when you have a lot of different ones, but they're also quite memorable in the mind of a reader. A big word sh ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#98. Posted on May 29, 2006 09:27 PM. Heh, I like the fact that you spelled it wrong even if it's the Star Wars character. Rather cruel irony .
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#99. Posted on May 29, 2006 09:20 PM. Unfortunately, smasher didn't seem to realize everything that was going on in his comment so BSTRhino came in using SCChamp and Tom's powers and restored order. (Let's see if I can clear this up) Far away in the tomb of the Oracles, deep beneath the ground, Champ, Geckat and SS are preparing to leave the company of the Oracles and go kill the Xel'Naga, which apparently is a little shriveled old guy living in an ice cold cavern. ***** DontShoot and smasher are flying in an immortal ba ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#100. Posted on May 29, 2006 07:25 PM. (OT: DontShoot isn't dead. He's just missing from the plot) ...They were to travel to the hidden Xel'Naga realm and wipe out all traces of the mystical race... -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#101. Posted on May 29, 2006 06:48 PM. (OT: Yes! You're here too, SS. Now all we need is DB and we'll be ready...) The small group of questing heroes were setting off towards MaFiCuS's evil lair, when they were interrupted by a shout. They spun around and saw SilverScreen limping towards them, carrying a red lightsaber in each hand. "Prithee allow yourselves to aid one such as myself in the knowing of directions!" SilverScreen called. 'Wait,' he thought to himself. 'Why am I talking like this? What is going on?' ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#102. Posted on May 29, 2006 05:53 PM. lol. Yeah, I had a vague idea that Fersus was the DT (at the time when there weren't enough members missing or whatever, I had that intuition as well XD.) but thanks for cementing it .
Higgins, you didn't kill him, but the two marines that your 'toss killed were very graphic. A lot of gore going on in that 'scene'. You had one of your characters feel kind of bad about that, but with how human they are in other places, he should have been feeling a lot worse =p. Keep it up!
-'Champ
l ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#103. Posted on May 29, 2006 05:39 PM. (OT: Maf is a girl, lol) (OT again: Hey Maf and Dutch! Welcome!) SCChamp regained his order-restoring powers again. Relishing in their fullness he looked at the screwed plot that had been created in the last 12 comments. He shook his head sadly, then waved his stick around like a wildman. Nothing happened.... at least for a little bit. Then a blinding white flash of light enveloped everything and erased it. When the chaotic plot finally settled down, like sand in a jar, things had chang ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#104. Posted on May 29, 2006 06:45 AM. (OT: But you're still alive, DocOc, I saved you with my magical order-restoring powers. Maybe you should read the other PFRs to see how things work .)
Champ ran over and tried to kick the robot in the shin, forgetting how tall it was. His foot bounced harmlessly off Gia-Geckat's little toe.
Behind him, smasher said, "Heh, look, everything's back to normal."
Champ ignored him, forgetting to say his pizza line in his rage with the robot. He pounded uselessly against the meta ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#105. Posted on May 29, 2006 06:30 AM. You shouldn't have told me that =p. Ruins it for me... J/K btw, who's Fargus? Jog my memory please =p. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#106. Posted on May 29, 2006 02:39 AM. The super-powered-plot-restoring SCChamp returns and, seeing the mayhem that TheHybrid caused with his reckless comment, once again creates a flash of white light. It envelops everything, destroys the timerift once and for all and Kerrigan once again disappears. deadfast goes, too. "Heh, look everything's back to normal," said smasher, heaving a deep sigh and leaning against a building. "No... more.... pizza..." groaned Champ. "Stupid SCChamp and his blinding flash ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#107. Posted on May 29, 2006 12:37 AM. I like the fact that you have so many different chapters. That way I can hit little landmarks and know that I am actually making progress through the story =p. Heh, you've influenced me so much that I'm going to do that in The Ghost Ship now, lol. Down to the 2-3 different parts/chapter .
-'Champ
(btw, don't you think your killing off of characters was a little bit graphic? Made me shudder some... ) ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#108. Posted on May 29, 2006 12:35 AM. Not too shabby. Good punctuation. Good character development. Not too much jumping around the story. Gets a good. -'Champ (there's yar comment) ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#109. Posted on May 29, 2006 12:33 AM. Wow. Powerful piece. Too bad he had to die at the end =p. Keep it up, muta! -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#110. Posted on May 29, 2006 12:31 AM. Bad punctuation. Tense troubles. Okay character stuff... meh, not enough time for a review like Tom... Average -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#111. Posted on May 29, 2006 12:29 AM. Yeah, same. Not enough time for a lengthy comment. What muta said =p. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#112. Posted on May 29, 2006 12:28 AM. Wierd idea, using SC heroes, but not too shabby. Keep it up. -'Champ (I just did exactly what minus_human says NOT to do, lol) ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#113. Posted on May 28, 2006 11:54 PM. (OT: What was the Jordan Beeman crap? It's Murkyith, right?) Another flash of light (a common occurence nowadays) and everything was restored back to the way it should be... Murkyith is back with the same old personality from the old PFRs. Champ is back, albeit with new sidekicks, Doctor Octopus and DontShoot and smasher, and there is no plot whatsoever happening. But wait, something is different. Raynor is gone, Kerrigan vanished and the headless Lieutenant Spears went away in a poof ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#114. Posted on May 28, 2006 05:36 PM. That's my dream too.... I'm getting ready to write a 40-page story in hopes that a few people will read it and vote exceptional or else look at it, realize it's long and vote exceptional =p. Great story, Tom. You have great character development. GJ. Exceptional. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#115. Posted on May 28, 2006 05:30 PM. Yes, UED. They're the Earth people, and plus they're super powerful. The only reason they lost was because Kerrigan plays dirty. The 'toss lost, too, though. I agree, muta, UED all the way. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#116. Posted on May 28, 2006 05:25 PM. However, despite the unbearable pain shooting through his limbs and the throbbing headache he had acquired, Jim Raynor suddenly snapped his head up as he realized what the Zealot's cryptic message meant. "Heh, I'm finally gonna get my revenge," Raynor said with a large grin. Staggering out his door, Jim was nearly plowed down by a passing Vulture. Suddenly the Vulture stopped, going in reverse until it was right in front of General Raynor. "Need a ride to the footless Zea ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#117. Posted on May 28, 2006 01:46 AM. TEN CHAPTERS!! Oh, you fail me every time, DocOc.... J/K I actually sat down and read this whole thing, right here. That's kind of a landmark. It usually takes me a few days to read one of your chapters =p. Very good, some repetitive wording (especially with wind. You used 'wind' WAY too much. Sometimes more than once in a sentence), but not too shabby overall. Your characters are very real (I know it's hard with 'toss, but gj!), and the plot carries on well. Keep it up! -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#118. Posted on May 26, 2006 08:48 PM. Gah, let's just do PMs. This is giving me a headache. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#119. Posted on May 26, 2006 08:47 PM. That's forums. Not chatrooms... -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#120. Posted on May 26, 2006 08:40 PM. What could be taking you so long? Just copy the address from the top bar and paste it into your comment. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#121. Posted on May 26, 2006 08:37 PM. I have patience.......... . . . . OKAY PATIENCE GONE!!! GIVE ME URL!! =p J/K -;Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#122. Posted on May 26, 2006 08:35 PM. Okay, let's do Harry Potter. What's the URL? -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#123. Posted on May 26, 2006 08:33 PM. nvm. This doesn't seem to be working out. Let's just go back to the PMs. Write long ones and it'll be sort of the same... -'Champ Okay, let's do Harry Potter. What's the URL? -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#124. Posted on May 26, 2006 08:33 PM. Just give me the URL for some random website that has a chat feature. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#125. Posted on May 26, 2006 08:30 PM. What's going on? You were there, then you quit. Do you have another chatroom we could use? -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#126. Posted on May 26, 2006 08:29 PM. Are you there? -'Champ What's going on? You were there, then you quit. Do you have another chatroom we could use? -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#127. Posted on May 26, 2006 08:25 PM. How about somewhere random, okay? It's a promisance game with a chat feature. Let's just go use that chatroom. http://www.fireemblemworld.com/javachat/ -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#128. Posted on May 26, 2006 08:23 PM. No. Do you know any websites with a chat feature? We could go there to chat. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#129. Posted on May 26, 2006 08:21 PM. Yes, it's called a trademark. Every now and then, if I'm feeling quirky, I'll change it: ';Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#130. Posted on May 26, 2006 08:21 PM. So far in your story, I've gotten to the point where Kerrigan is fighting the first defenses. Mainly all I've changed is the punctuation and put in a few 'bigger' words =p. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#131. Posted on May 26, 2006 08:19 PM. Yes. Greetings. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#132. Posted on May 26, 2006 08:16 PM. smasher? where are you....? -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#133. Posted on May 26, 2006 08:11 PM. He said from Asia... he's not neccessarily Chinese. English is my first language, Chinese is my second. A little bit of Latin I guess could count as third, and I knew Spanish once upon a time. My most recent language was Thai. -'Champ (lol, don't try talking to me in Chinese right now, though. It's been a few years.) ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#134. Posted on May 26, 2006 08:05 PM. I agree, TitanWing. Everybody's getting a little caught up with politics. That's the problem with a website that has so many different nationalities actively doing stuff. All the arguments. Though I must agree that you're right about BBC. It and other news stations (pretty much all of them except for Fox News) are democratic and have basically declared war on all Republican presidents. That's why you'll hear about a lot of deaths and civilian slaughter going on in Iraq, rather than all the sc ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#135. Posted on May 26, 2006 06:08 PM. So you're a Canadian (Canada is 1/2 french, 1/2 english or something like that, right?), but your first language is Chinese and your second language is English. Do you speak French as well? Isn't that a requirement to go to Canadian colleges? -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#136. Posted on May 26, 2006 05:34 PM. *blatantly ignores Doc Oc* No Dallas didn't win, smasher. Sadly. But if Phoenix keeps playing the way they are, a victory is on the way. -;Champ (beware the changing sig) ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#137. Posted on May 26, 2006 05:27 PM. I change my sig around plenty as well.... -;Champ (notice the semicolon instead of apostrophe. Huge differences must sometimes be made to break the monotony) ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#138. Posted on May 26, 2006 05:24 PM. I said it depends on how you look at it, DontShoot. Publishers or highly critical people like abcxyzzzz would view pieces as P.B. or B.A. that I would vote good, possibly exceptional on, just because they're looking for different stuff. Guess it came out wrong.... Oh, and DocOc isn't being mean. That's just his way =p. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#139. Posted on May 26, 2006 05:19 PM. But your first language is French, right Doc Oc? -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#140. Posted on May 26, 2006 03:35 AM. Which is why you spelled myself with an 'i'? -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#141. Posted on May 25, 2006 10:31 PM. I read it. Pretty good job. Read my comments in Zealot 3. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#142. Posted on May 25, 2006 10:30 PM. English is your second language? French your third? What's your native tongue, smasher? -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#143. Posted on May 25, 2006 05:30 PM. You're quite opinionated, abcxyzzzz. Politely opinionated, but still opinionated. I will admit that there are several good points in here. However, most of the pieces are not B.A. or P.B. If you want to look at it as a publisher, sifting through for only the best works, I suppose you might vote that critically. But if you're an encouraging fellow author, helping someone to become a better writer, you can encourage them by voting Good or Exceptional because they used your critique, rather than ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#144. Posted on May 25, 2006 05:21 PM. lol, this one actually made me chuckle. Better than most 'funny' stories around here. Making someone laugh in a third language... wow. That's talent. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#145. Posted on May 25, 2006 05:19 PM. Yeah, that's what I was thinking too as I read this, Doc Oc. Other than the lack of Protoss finesse, this was a great story. You got a nice level of description, and the plot carries on well. I can feel for the Zealot kind of, though it would be nicer if he acted more experienced. Oh, and Protoss don't have Commanders. They have Executors. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#146. Posted on May 25, 2006 05:16 PM. Some slight syllable trouble and an entirely overused idea, but it still gets a good. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#147. Posted on May 25, 2006 05:14 PM. Not bad. Good level of description.... what little there was. Looking forward to what you write in the future, Ygnir. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#148. Posted on May 25, 2006 05:09 PM. Yeah, DontShoot. It's rather interesting, after watching the Suns and Mavericks score so much, to look at the complete opposite game: Heat vs. Pistons. Pheonix could really benefit from learning from Detroit, but as long as they want to keep this up and let Dallas win, I'm fine =). -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#149. Posted on May 24, 2006 05:31 AM. You take Creative Writing courses, DocOc? I took one... once upon a time. That hasn't affected me too much... *notices the stares from SC.org members*... nevermind... -'Champ (DS, did you just write your normal siggy for once? When the playoffs are still going? THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!!) ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#150. Posted on May 24, 2006 02:20 AM. 24 pages right now, Snot? Wow, you have quite a series going there. I've been planning the Ghost Ship for a while and I've been writing for, like, 5 days already and I'm only at 16 pages... meh -'Champ (btw, *picks up control panel to giant mech hidden just outside Vancouver* So long, suckers!) ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#151. Posted on May 23, 2006 05:58 PM. You're right, Delta. You're about to get so flamed, you'll burn... J/K. DontShoot needs all the constructive criticism he can get... that is what that was, right? Constructive criticism?.... heh... I wanted the Pistons to win, DS, because... well... let's see, why did I want them to win? They're an all around better team and they deserve it!.... wait, maybe not.... anyhow... -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#152. Posted on May 23, 2006 01:07 AM. Sorry, Soul. Once again too crammed up... that influences my vote a lot. However, this work wasn't that shabby altogether. Ben was unoriginal (but you mentioned that), and I feel he played too much of a role. He's just another soldier--you shouldn't have mentioned him later on. Nonetheless, there was charisma carried in your snappy dialogue and brief fight scene. Gets a good. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#153. Posted on May 22, 2006 10:16 PM. Too crammed up. Not enough development. Unoriginal plot: Can you say Star Trek? However, I like the fact that you didn't try to 'flavor' the story with a multitude of swear words. And it was nice that you tried to add religion in... It wasn't very smooth, though. Anyways, good. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#154. Posted on May 22, 2006 10:09 PM. Finally something we can agree on, DontShoot. I wanted the Pistons to beat the Cavs, but the Heat are my overall favorites. I just follow Shaq around. Before he got switched, the Lakers were my all time favorites =p. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#155. Posted on May 22, 2006 10:07 PM. Yay, Starcraft787878! We're rising in the pop fiction. You submitted it... but this is the first thing that I wrote that has hit pop in a few months!! And yeah, plots aren't really all that tough. If you're having trouble getting stuff laid out, I find it helpful to take a clean sheet of paper, a sharp pencil, and write out your timeline. Then your thoughts can be crisp and organized .
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#156. Posted on May 22, 2006 06:31 PM. Going to Starcraft could be interesting... but then again it couldn't be too =p. Fence-sitting is my favorite pasttime. Anyways, I would rather watch my forces get decimated on my laptop than BE one of the people getting decimated... *shudder* No. -'Champ (number 16, best since #1 for me =p) ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#157. Posted on May 21, 2006 05:46 PM. Exceptional! Just a little fact, though. Archanix is a High Templar's name. Most Dark Templar names start with 'K' and have a lot of 'K's and 'Y's in them. They don't usually have 'A's (Zeratul is an exception) in their names either. Quite unimportant, though =p. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#158. Posted on May 21, 2006 05:43 PM. Exceptional. What program did you use? -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#159. Posted on May 21, 2006 05:37 PM. Ha ha ha! Exceptional for the humor. I like the herbivorian chin, lol. The curved lines for the tail... ah, magnificent. So creative indeed =p. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#160. Posted on May 21, 2006 05:32 PM. Yes! Pistons won! You can change your signature now, DontShoot, your team is crushed! Mwahahaha! .. .. Whew... calming down now... -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#161. Posted on May 21, 2006 05:28 PM. Sorry, no can do . If you want to 'chat', send me a lengthy PM. I generally like to stay off the IMers. Sorry.
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#162. Posted on May 20, 2006 09:56 PM. BST and Schwitz are New Zealanders, Geckat? NZs are okay, I guess. If BST is a NZ, then they must be =p. The Cavs are going down, DontShoot... at least I hope so. The Pistons had everything going so well at first, but now they're 3-3... Life is so unjust. This has been a strange year for the playoffs... three 3-3s, and a 6 seed making it. meh. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#163. Posted on May 20, 2006 06:57 PM. Yeah. Take a couple days off and read some good novels in that time. Oh, and you said noticed too many times =p. Change it to realized or saw or something. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#164. Posted on May 19, 2006 05:34 PM. You don't want it to become a chatroom? =p Hurry up with that Zealot story. If you want, I can proofread it for you once you finish. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#165. Posted on May 19, 2006 05:32 PM. Golf? An exciting game? How old are you, Geckat? 72? 75? J/K. There's quite a few Canadians on this site... some of them have even invaded staffship... <
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#166. Posted on May 19, 2006 01:43 AM. You haven't played hockey? Well neither have I, living in the tropics and all .
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#167. Posted on May 19, 2006 01:41 AM. Yeah. You translating Snot's quick message. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#168. Posted on May 18, 2006 08:34 PM. Nice, but crop the whole top half. All that white gets really annoying. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#169. Posted on May 18, 2006 08:31 PM. Art thou Canadian, O hockey lover? Hockey is one of the most ruthless, pointless games in the entire sports world. Period. Basketball owns. -'Champ (btw, J/K. Hockey's okay) ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#170. Posted on May 18, 2006 08:27 PM. Goliaths are kind of fun to listen to in game... but when you're setting up an attack force and you would like them to hang back and guard your tanks, they can get quite aggravating. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#171. Posted on May 18, 2006 02:53 AM. heh, yeah. smasher, I just now read Rise of the Dominion: Failure. You kind of had me confused... anyways, read what I said there and please straighten me out. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#172. Posted on May 18, 2006 02:50 AM. Okay, I'm starting to get a tad confused.... You have overlapping chapters or something. You're going to make some mini series and they'll all be part of the SC Saga? Then rename the SC Saga, so it doesn't confuse people like me . It seems like SC Saga I-IV leads into Rise of the Dominion Overwhelmed and Rise of the Dominion Devestation. Then at the end of Overwhelmed, Duke's about to shoot Raynor. Suddenly, in the 3rd part of Rise of the Dominion (Rise of the Dominion Failure) it snaps to ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#173. Posted on May 18, 2006 01:55 AM. lol, nice translation, smasher... not quite what I extrapolated, but anyways.. What do you mean a not so popular unit, Snot? The Goly? I think the Goly is the second most popular Terran unit (next to the Ghost). It's just that nobody ever takes the time to write about it. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#174. Posted on May 17, 2006 08:13 PM. I understand you, smasher... The Ghost Ship is changing so much... I'm at page 9 in MS word and I'm still working out my characters and trying to get my plot ideas down... I think I'll make it a trilogy. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#175. Posted on May 17, 2006 08:11 PM. Gah! Detroit's losing! It's a fluke... it's just one big fluke. Detroit is superior, lol. You're cheering for the wrong team, DontShoot. At least Miami Heat has secured a place in the playoffs.... Go Shaq! -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#176. Posted on May 17, 2006 08:06 PM. Ok, nice siggy, but drop the smiley and do a few less spaces between the end of your comment and your signature. Sorry, DocOc... but stop wallowing in self-pity, lol. J/K. You have so many stories up there, I don't want to hear another word, whether in play or serious (J/K again). lol, keep writing 'em, Starcraft787878. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#177. Posted on May 17, 2006 03:10 AM. Copycat! lol, j/k.. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#178. Posted on May 16, 2006 09:19 PM. Too long or too short? TheGhostShip is going to be (warning: major estimation) about 20-30 pages long. Is that too long? Or were you complaining that TheChancellor was too short? -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#179. Posted on May 16, 2006 09:18 PM. Same here. Is your story that DontShoot's editing 66 pages, DocOc? What's going on? -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#180. Posted on May 16, 2006 09:15 PM. I know, I was just messing with you .
-'Champ ...Click here to view this comment. |
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#181. Posted on May 16, 2006 09:13 PM. Stupid writer's block, lol. I've found that when I get a writer's block the best thing to do is to read a bunch of stuff that interests me. Like when I was in a lull with TheChancellor, I read DontShoot's stuff. For some reason that helped me write. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#182. Posted on May 16, 2006 01:02 AM. lol, I was thinking more along a few months, but this is still a huge relief. Now I have one small, insignificant, tiny, little chance of making it onto the pop with The Ghost Ship. lol -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#183. Posted on May 16, 2006 12:56 AM. Write right! Write right! What do you mean you lack 3-4 pages? How can you know how many pages you lack? Do you set it up and say: "In this chapter I will write 10 pages, then stop on the 2493rd word"? I generally have no clue how many pages I'm going to write for a chapter, but that's just me.... Perhaps you have a different system. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#184. Posted on May 16, 2006 12:50 AM. I would get bored out of my wits writing a screenplay. Gawd, it's bad enough trying to read one of those while acting... writing one would be terrible. It would be nigh on impossible for me to write anything decent with screenplay format. Sorry, NuisanceValue. -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#185. Posted on May 14, 2006 03:46 AM. Aren't we all? Yeah, I hope that The Ghost Ship will hit pop..... if I can just get enough reviewers to see it when it comes out. Maybe I should start advertising all over the polls so that as soon as The Ghost Ship comes out it'll get read a million times.... then again... -'Champ ... Click here to view this comment. |
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#186. Posted on May 14, 2006 03:43 AM. Yeah, that's true, AcidReign. I thought I kind of searched into their minds with Juk'Khal... but this is incredible. Anyways, keep it up, DocOc and let me know AS SOON AS YOU FINISH CHAP. 8!! -'Champ ... Click here to view this com |