deadlyassassin (Section Moderator)
Section Moderator
Send a message to deadlyassassin.
The following are documents submitted by this user:
The following are comments posted by this user:
|
#1. Posted on May 21, 2008 07:28 PM. Deadfast, My apologies for taking so long to actually finish reading this and get a critique in on it. Now when I see these I find myself taking my time to read them as I would a quality novel, and I'm never disappointed. The entire installment was a great advancement of the series, and I personally really liked how you ended it. I would have found it remendously difficult to have Bane morph, but it does make for a great development and an awesome way of marking Bane's advancement into a n ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#2. Posted on May 21, 2008 06:57 PM. Thanks Jello. Bold: <b>words</b> Italics <i>words</i> Centering <center>words</center> When you center words that you want bolded, you simply do <center><b>words</b></center> Hope that helps. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#3. Posted on May 21, 2008 03:00 PM. Very interesting. My only real criticism of the piece would be the reference to "The man called Newgan" so much. I understand why you were doing it, but it really seemed to get repetitive. On the brighter side, the descriptions made me stop taking notice of it after a while. As for the hybrids, you seem to have come up with some fascinating new creatures for the Maelstrom universe. I imagine it will be somewhat fun for you at this point, since you'll get to have the various chara ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#4. Posted on March 28, 2008 05:17 PM. Glad to see you back here Snot, wasn't sure if you were still working on these or not, and was pleasantly surprised when I saw the name on the fiction list. Sorry it took me so long to get through it. Overall this was exceptional work, even though I would agree that Protocol B was better. Every installment can't be better than the last--storyline doesn't always provide for that--so I certainly won't penalize you for it. Aside from boring grammar issues the only problem I could find was a l ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#5. Posted on March 28, 2008 05:14 PM. Well I just clicked submit and nothing happened, so my fingers are crossed that it doesn't do doubles. Thanks alot for the feedback you two. Sorry about the confusion from the perspective changes in the story, I was trying a new method to get character opinions on what was happening without directly stating it in either dialogue or narration by trying to insert it into the reactions they displayed to various events. With regards to where I left it, I have a fairly good idea for a sequel ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#6. Posted on October 08, 2007 11:04 AM. I encourage you to comment because in order to make the things I submit enjoyable for me to write, and for others to read, I need to be ABLE to write, which is something I would not be very good at were it not for your criticisms on each story I've written leading up to this one. And obviously I'm still a work in progress. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#7. Posted on October 02, 2007 03:21 PM. Damn Delta. Been a long time since I've seen you around here o.o Thank you VERY much for all of that- and I'm not going to waste anyone's time making excuses for why the various things you pulled out are that way because sadly you're right on just about all of it. The only thing I would offer, mostly because of your discussion of my writing style, is that you left something crucial out. Every story I've written on here is for pure entertainment value, thus I always put in a lot of actio ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#8. Posted on August 19, 2007 08:18 PM. To tell the truth I thought for a short while on what I would do in terms of the entire concept of reapers being quite unethical, but you really have to look at the standpoint from which I was telling the story. Arturo is a man who has been a reaper, or in training to be one, since he was resocialized. The memories that he has in his head have nearly all been implanted, and his thoughts are largely the result of extensive brutal training by the Dominion. To him, he has accepted the idea of him l ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#9. Posted on August 12, 2007 02:29 PM. I thought about a Reaper 2 after finishing this, and knew I'd be leaving it open before I started writing. I seriously doubt I'll ever make it though, because it certainly wouldn't live up to this story and would be a pain to write. Haven't totally ruled it out though I suppose. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#10. Posted on August 11, 2007 01:12 PM. Damn minus. Welcome back and thanks ALOT for all your criticism. In regards to Valerius I was aware that Mengsk had a son, though I will admit I didn't know his name. I felt, however, that to actually use his name would somewhat ruin that little twist at the end and so I felt it would be best to use a second son, which I figure is certainly a possibility. Because of this I was intentionally vague on timelines in terms of when this takes place in reference to BW and/or SC2. I also didn't go ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#11. Posted on August 10, 2007 08:56 PM. I do agree that a couple of the paragraphs are a bit long, but if you look back at some of my previous work where I didn't do the spacing they look like nothing, lol. And every writer makes mistakes and deserves criticism for some aspect of their work. My being a section moderator doesn't really change much of that IMHO. There have been many writers on this site over the years and currently that have far better writing skills than my own, and many weren't moderators. Even some of the most fam ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#12. Posted on August 10, 2007 08:32 AM. X9: This story is the longest that I've written to date, and it also really worried me. The problem with this story from a writer's standpoint was that there were so many different points that had to be incorporated that I couldn't really cut things out. Once I'd read the finished product I was also concerned because to me it seemed almost as though it was rushed.In terms of the storyline, I'd actually thought this was one of the more original ones I'd come up with, but I don't read as many of t ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#13. Posted on July 13, 2007 07:12 PM. Lol, I was actually writing a three part series, the first of which was following Mengsk's little raid of the Fujita complex, though the way you wrote the encounter with Kerrigan was far better than the way I did it, and thus I decided my story in general was shit and stopped writing it 
This was a really terrific piece, nonetheless. Your writing ability really is top-notch, and this has a bit of a professional feel to it.
I also find it interesting how you've now done both the death of ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#14. Posted on June 07, 2007 02:44 PM. Are we still supposed to be PMing via warboards? -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#15. Posted on May 24, 2007 09:07 PM. Thanks alot for the suggestions about the space travel, I've been sort of limited during the last two parts in terms of how the fleet could really maneuver quickly, or escape, which to be honest is why I resolved this installment by having the station blow up. Tom: Thanks alot for the usggestions about characters. I'm already working alot on designing each of these specific characters, as well as a few I've yet to introduce. The biggest thing about this series, which is new to me, is that mos ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#16. Posted on May 22, 2007 02:14 PM. Thanks alot X9, and you'll probably be seeing this again. Since this started at the second to last position on the list, there probably wouldn't be any point in posting the next installment if you're the only one that's read this one : / And I've been meaning to ask you a question that's been killing my ability to write this: Is there any way that the terran military has of moving through space more quickly? -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#17. Posted on May 19, 2007 08:55 AM. I'm with smiffy. It took me ten minutes to realize that it was real, and not a joke. Kinda hard to believe...... -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#18. Posted on May 10, 2007 09:15 PM. Well, sc.org is running fine, it's the site that the submissions and such go through that it having a problem, which in turn affects this site. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#19. Posted on May 10, 2007 08:42 AM. okay well, since you are apparently not quite understanding the physics of the dropship situation, I'll throw out a few numbers for you. First of all, to get to 5000 feet in three seconds you would be going at approximately mach 3; 1020 m/s (or a little under since mach 3 would put you at around 5500 feet in 3 seconds). Now at that speed on a completely vertical accent you would be against the force of gravity which is approximately 9.81 m/s. For the sake of time and rounding efforts, l ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#20. Posted on May 04, 2007 08:31 PM. Lol, I'd love to see what you would look like after going straight upwards at mach 3-4 in three seconds. The forces experienced at such speeds when travelling horizontally is extremely different than vertical. And technically the true ghosts of SC DON'T actually have any lives other than the missions they partake in, which is what made them so lethal. As for desires, there isn't much to speak of in a ghost, because they really are just an emotionless shell. This of course isn't really accepta ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#21. Posted on May 03, 2007 09:17 PM. I understand alot of the nuke theory, but the whole concept of ghosts was that they essentially were NOT human, in that they felt no emotions after all of the terrible training that they were put through. Emotions are something that get in the way of getting a job done on the battlefield, and that was a problem that the Confederacy had attempted to fix. And to be honest Ghosts are in some ways "super-human" because their training includes numerous implants and augmentations to their ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#22. Posted on May 03, 2007 01:57 PM. Personally I don't know why this was submitted as a short story, because to tell the truth I found it quite comical, and not in a good way. First of all, this is about as corny as a story can get, and it gets to the point where it is just point-blank stupid. To tell you the truth, I was against the story from the very first sentence, but that was self inflicted by you, considering that you decided to use Ghost-N008. In hindsight I had thought that actually to be considerably more original tha ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#23. Posted on April 29, 2007 06:07 PM. "hell i don't even care about new units. I'd be happy with the same graphics and units we all know and love, just so long as they continue the story. I need to know what happens." Okay, now it's this sort of thing that is very unreasonable to say. And it is such because of Sons of War. If normal people with relatively basic skills in map making and design can create completely new units, a very intriguing storyline, and countless new maps to play through, it would be absolute suicid ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#24. Posted on April 29, 2007 08:59 AM. "This was a misspring and was revoked by an blizzard official om the battle.net forums where they stated that vivdendi DID NOT confirm that they said or written such thing in any way and that vividendi has no power of what blizzard decides and doesnt decide in what they want to make, and they themselfs did not want to make MMORP only." I did not know that the statement had been revoked, but vivendi universal DOES have power over what Blizzard makes, considering that they are the mot ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#25. Posted on April 28, 2007 08:22 PM. "I think a Starcraft MMO would be really strange" I'd thought that too, until last year GameSpot pulled an April Fools joke saying that blizzard had announced a "World of StarCraft". They had a page full of info on what it would be like, and what they came up with actually made me realize that StarCraft would be 10 times better in an MMO form than WoW, namely because it is such a different concept, and has many more possibilities. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#26. Posted on April 28, 2007 05:09 PM. "But as for a Starcraft two or expansion or something like ghost, (well, not so much ghost) etc, I of course hope so. But like deadlyassasin said, if they make a Starcraft or Diablo MMORPG, I'd want to slap Blizzard right across the face." About six to eight months ago a Vivendi Universal high ranking official announced that all three of Blizzard's universes would eventually become MMOs, so it's no longer really a question of IF, so much as WHEN, and if anything will come before it. ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#27. Posted on April 28, 2007 05:26 AM. Well one thing's for certain: WoW has pretty much made blizzard financially secure considering the money it rakes in every month. That money certainly opens new windows for them in terms of what they can now make, and the amount of manpower they hire to work on it. Hopefully they aren't making good on their promise to make all three universes into MMOs just yet. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#28. Posted on April 28, 2007 03:15 AM. "and have it's staff return with their lifes intact" Lmao good point. Now I'm not certain as to when Blizzcon is, but if it is anywhere from July-December from this year, this is what I would predict. May 19th: D3 / A new game altogether / an SC game Blizzcon: WoW expansion -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#29. Posted on April 27, 2007 01:34 PM. As many people as this site makes it appear would prefer to see another SC game come out, that isn't realistic because at this point in time WoW has the spotlight in terms of how many people play it. Of course that's not to say many of them wouldn't be interested in an SC sequel as well. "Also, we have a very strong connection with the characters and settings of StarCraft, and we do plan to revisit that universe at some point in the future, but we don't have anything new to announce in t ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#30. Posted on April 20, 2007 01:36 PM. A very good story, Doc. I'm not wild at all about detailing the life of a major SC character at all, though you're a good enough writer that you managed to make us forget that we once commanded this guy, who at the time had a relatively static personality. Needless to say, you gave this guy a helluva lot of character, which is quite impressive. There were a few minor grammar erros, but nothing to worry too much about. To be perfectly honest though, if it wasn't you that had written this I wou ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#31. Posted on April 13, 2007 08:41 PM. Thanks hate; I feel the same you do about the way I had to end this installment, and about Kerrigan. Unfortunately, however, it often takes a familiar face to draw in those real starcraft fans  .
-DA ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#32. Posted on April 06, 2007 04:30 PM. Thanks alot for giving me these pointers; you always seem to be able to pick out that which others can't or choose not to 
I guess 2.5 years IS a long ass time for a squadron to remain intact, but three battles for a group of battle-hardened veterans wouldn't be that strange imho.
As for the C-4, you got me there  (I've never been the best at realistically adapting technology for SC, lol)
"Kerrigan does NOT die. Kerrigan can NOT die. That is, Kerrigan is my favorite character ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#33. Posted on April 06, 2007 04:20 PM. "Yeah, and RearAdmirel, that's DA, a kickass writer. Listen to him more than me. =D" I'm no better than you are; I've just gone from being a trashy writer to a decent one, whereas you pretty much started at the top
-DA ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#34. Posted on April 04, 2007 02:07 PM. Just to highlight it a bit more, what X9 said about writing several short stories before continuing with your big series is probably the most important advice you will ever get on how to improve your writing techniques. While serials/series are nice to write and don't have to be long, they are also the reason why 60-70% of all new writers on this site end up leaving shortly after they arrive. Not surprisingly serials are what most new writers think they should get into first, when in actualit ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#35. Posted on April 04, 2007 01:54 PM. While I didn't really have much to say about this when I first read it over for approval, some of the later comments have reminded me of something I think you should just be aware of, if you aren't already. First of all I agree that this was a bit cheesy and geckat's comment about this being like a "movie trailer" is very accurate in my opinion. All the same it does put you in a good place to start a new kind of series. Just as a fair warning to you about a story of this magnitud ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#36. Posted on March 31, 2007 02:39 PM. Well, assuming what I said above was correct, this wasn't too bad. Only took about 5 minutes to do, though I think one of them was missing a word that might make this tricky for some people. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#37. Posted on March 31, 2007 02:21 PM. Ah, so we're not making a sentence or anything, we're just making a list of correctly speleld words to use up all of the letters and they have to do with Toss units? -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#38. Posted on March 28, 2007 06:46 AM. Lol. Bloodbane. Lol. Anyways, it sounds like this book will be more interesting than QoB, which honestly wasn't my favorite :/ -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#39. Posted on March 23, 2007 05:50 PM. Mmmm blue. Lol, feel free to ignore me geckat
And welcome back zerg
-DA ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#40. Posted on March 16, 2007 01:42 PM. Well, I haven't PMed anyone, I guess I can try that. As for the spacing, I try not to do it much, though I did do it on Deadly Assassins. It tends to make the stories look much longer than they really are, and I've found that the length of the page can be mroe intimidating than the formatting, but I guess I could give it a shot. As for continuing, I'm still unsure. I got part way through the next one, so I may go ahead and finish it up. Thanks Champ, and please vote if you didn't. -D ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#41. Posted on March 14, 2007 08:20 PM. Well, I guess this series isn't worth continuing. If this was only worth reading to one person, I won't waste my time on any more of these; I'm sorry Sick, but thank you for reading. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#42. Posted on February 28, 2007 03:15 PM. It's funny that you should mention trying to write the flashback in parts with things setting them off, because that's exactly how I attempted to write it initially. After alot of work at it I was having a hard time finding an entertaining and relatively short way of doig it, so I ended up doing it this way. The flashback in this chapter was not, however, the only part of that story to be told; the events following the place where I left off are very important to the next installment, and will a ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#43. Posted on February 12, 2007 08:10 PM. Hey DF, I'm very glad to see you and Bane back in action. It does really sadden me, as I'm sure it does for you, that so few people care for this series anymore. While none of it has been largely publisized or even noticed on the site, alot has changed since you've been here, primarily in members. While I personally believe this saga to be one of the greatest written for this site, it is becoming quite clear that many people no longer feel that way. As for the story, I thought it was ve ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#44. Posted on February 11, 2007 08:44 AM. Well, my understanding of that news post a long time ago was that they were looking for one new staff position for each section, except fan fiction since that can be one of the more tedious jobs. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#45. Posted on February 09, 2007 04:53 PM. The only problem with refiltering is that the sections then have to be closed while it happens, as was the case with the map review board. While I'm not a map poster ( and probably would be no longer if I had been) I remember how that section was closed for months. As much as I hate to start saying that there should be more improvements to the site when so much is happening already, what we honestly need is not to refilter the site, but provide the right people to approve submissions, like the s ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#46. Posted on February 06, 2007 08:02 PM. LMFAO!! Man, I nearly forgot all about that little treasure trove of opinions and jumbled sentence structure. Good times.... -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#47. Posted on February 03, 2007 08:02 AM. Um, is anyone else getting a really annoying bar on the left side that occasionally has ads in it? It just popped up yesterday and is crushing all of the news posts and nav bar stuff onto the right side. It's becoming a pain to navigate with it :/ -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#48. Posted on January 29, 2007 07:35 PM. In regards to the colorful vocab-it seems to give your stories a more professional feel to me that I've tried several times to do myself and yet have kept failing at it, lol. I tend to overly describe the beginning of my stories and then trail off as I really start writing more quickly, I guess. Or maybe my vocab in general just isn't that impressive
-DA ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#49. Posted on January 29, 2007 07:30 PM. Come on guys.... The whole point of this news post is to get us to stop putting new things on the staffs plate, and now all you're doing is wanting them to take the time to do more things pertaining to the applicants, or wanting them to hurry up :/ Give them a rest for a bit so they can finish it up as I'm sure they're all wanting to. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#50. Posted on January 28, 2007 05:24 PM. "Intriguing." Thanks SO much for taking all the time to leave a huge comment Doc. Took me a whole five minutes to read, lol. And to you and others who comment, please vote as well. The voting part is easier than commenting. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#51. Posted on January 26, 2007 09:07 PM. Unfortuneatly that won't happen. I've had this happen to four or five of my submissions and I know how it can piss a writer off :/ I don't think the staff is either able to take the time to do things like that, or they don't have the ability to unless someone were to start doing it to all of the submissions. regardless, I did like this quite a bit. As always your vocabulary was astounding throughout the story, and made me play with dictionary.com a bit I'm embarrassed to say, lol. Good story ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#52. Posted on January 26, 2007 09:00 PM. Didn't they send that message to everyone saying that the application was received and is being considered? Or did that only go out to some of the applicants? -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#53. Posted on January 24, 2007 01:59 PM. It was alright. The storyline was decent for a beginning writer, but you have a long way to go. Besides grammar and spelling errors my biggest problem with this was Cromwell. While the description of the man sets him to be an interesting character, the way you portray him through your speech is as if he were a thirteen year old. His entire attitude is highly immature, more so than something that you would see in an adult, let alone a commander working with ONI. And despite your explanation a ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#54. Posted on January 23, 2007 02:14 PM. God, you got to this before I even knew it had been approved, lol. Honestly this is the first time I've ever written a story that had more than a couple paragraphs of naval warfare, and I was kind of counting on your review to tell me whether or not I knew how to do it since you love big orbital battles. When it comes to technical details, I know that they can make a story stand out positively, but I've also seen them stand out negatively. I didn't want to set this up so that you were on t ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#55. Posted on January 23, 2007 02:00 PM. I really do like it; the rougher appearance that comments used to have was kind of old, and changes are always nice. And if you decide to change the NAV, please don't put it back on the left side, lol. Took me two months to get used to looking at the right side after the new site went down o.o If I had to make a suggestion about further additions/changes to the site, it wouldn't be so much of a design issue. I've been noticing with the rating system lately on both fan art and fan fiction that ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#56. Posted on January 21, 2007 07:39 AM. Maybe with all of those extra fan fic mods around we'll see elite fiction return
-DA ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#57. Posted on January 18, 2007 05:33 PM. I actually didn't think about it, but honestly Blizzard has more to lose from making SC2 than they could really gain. As many people have mentioned the chances of them being able to make a sequel with an equally riveting storyline and complete balance between new units and perhaps new races are incredibly small. From their perspective, it's probably better to leave the series on a good note. To further that look at it this way: With StarCraft they reached perfection for an RTS game (or as clo ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#58. Posted on January 17, 2007 06:58 PM. Minus, thank you very much for your review- it was rather helpful. About the emotion thing- that was one of those things where I knew it seemed wrong when I was writing it, but people want character development and personality and an emotionless shell doesn't quite cut it, lol. About Jerry feeling that he was Mengsk's equal, this was taking place at a time when Arcturas' known involvement in his father's affairs was very little. He had also yet to establish himself as a head hauncho type due ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#59. Posted on December 28, 2006 09:24 AM. Very well done. The only things I could find wrong with this were a couple spelling errors such as the very first line, and in the end where you used "saw". It sounds alright like that but it seems to me like it would sound better to say "they had seen". It's probably just me
Exp.
-DA ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#60. Posted on December 24, 2006 01:49 PM. Not too bad considering I haven't seen a work of fiction bearing your name in quite some time. Aside from the multitude of spelling errors which you pointed out, alot of the story seemed rushed, and some of it even seemed pointless to me. One such element was Jeff, who had zero importance to the story. I guess the point of that was probably to show how cold the major was. I also don't like when people are introduced to a story and then die a paragraph later, unless their death bears significant ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#61. Posted on December 06, 2006 05:13 PM. Thanks alot for the comments guys. About the action, I was well aware at the time that I was writing it and at the time I released it that it was some of my worst action scenes, but the more I wrote and re-wrote it the more I understood that it would be difficult to get any really exciting ones into the plotline that I was following. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#62. Posted on December 05, 2006 10:35 AM. I hate having to mentio nstuff like the time thing, because honestly I wouldn't have written it any differently and there's no way to really cover all of the possibilities without boredom. I just figured I'd mention it while I was in the critiquing mode on the one series I still read on here. Did I mention I hate grammar? That sentence still doesn't sound right to me, but I'll take your word for it, lol. And I get the Sarai thing, it sounds right when you think of it that way. That's a goo ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#63. Posted on December 04, 2006 02:36 PM. Good to see you back OLM, and with another great installment. Overall it was very good, but here are some of the things I’ve picked out since I know you value criticism more than praise in comments
“Sarai, Markus’ new daughter was named Sarai” this phrase really bothered me. I don’t know if you meant it this way or if it was an error, but it seems strangely repetitive.
“Stan could read fear and uncertainty in her eyes, in the worry lines that creased the corner of her eyes” Again, seem ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#64. Posted on November 16, 2006 03:43 PM. I'm guessing it's the Xel'Naga. ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#65. Posted on November 15, 2006 06:20 PM. Damn, this sure took its merry time getting its ass on the fic lists lol. ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#66. Posted on November 10, 2006 07:47 PM. Terrific work 2h. Your writing is just as exceptional as it was in the first installment, just without the destructive beginning. The beginning to this installment seemed like it jumped around a little bit to me; it was more like watching a movie where all you could see was the main action instead of also seeing what else might be happening. The rest of the installment cleaned up niceley, making for a very intriguing read. I would like to add, however, that the reference to X-men seemed very out ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#67. Posted on October 19, 2006 02:37 PM. I have to say that this is one of the most well written stories I’ve seen in a while from the new fan fic list, I only wish that the excellent writing hadn’t been marred by the beginning. As others have said it IS Halo 2. After I read it I actually went back to the game and watched it, and found that it was as close as it could come to word for word, even some of the dialogue was eerily similar. A Protoss heretic doesn’t even really make much sense to me considering the nature of their beliefs. ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#68. Posted on September 28, 2006 02:39 PM. Seems like it's been a whlie lumosa, glad to have you back
That comment by OLM isn't as bad as you make it seem, Hal. He wasn't boasting the quality of his own work, simply giving his opinion that the series is well liked by enough people that it could be on top of the list, and I would agree with that fact. It may not stand up to Delta's critiquing, but it does do probably the most important thing very well: entertain.
-DA
*Edit* That should say that I agree with that opinion ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#69. Posted on September 27, 2006 08:39 PM. Chill guys, I don't want another flame war to get started.... -Torrasque, I respect your opinion wholly and I thank you for wanting to defend my story, but I must respectfully observe that you seem at least to me to be somehat new to the site, or at least the fan fictio nsection, and calling probably the best reviewers we have a piece of shit isn't a good way to start off. Delta's comments can seem harsh, but it's not something to go crazy about. -Delta, I thank you very much for taking th ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#70. Posted on September 07, 2006 03:00 PM. Thanks alot guys, I always appreciate your honesty with my stories. and Sick, Silence was probably the best short story I've written to date, so if you read any of my other stories you shouldn't go into them with the same expectations, lol. Anyway, keep the comments coming guys. I value positive or negative critisism very highly, especially with my series. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#71. Posted on September 05, 2006 02:18 PM. How do you make such pristine and awesome stuff with wings3d? lol. Great job again, awesome detail with everything. I especially like the mechanical and detailed intricasies of the photon cannon. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#72. Posted on September 03, 2006 10:51 PM. I just got Wings3D and have to say I don't know how the hell you managed to get such awesome looking figures out of it lol. Great job and keep it up. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#73. Posted on August 28, 2006 08:20 PM. I glanced at both the first and second parts briefly when they first came out. I am embarrassed to say that i forgot all about Maelstrom during that gap, and when I saw that the third was out, I decided to read it from beginning to end. I wish that I hadn't waited all this time, though I'm sure it was less suspensful not having to wait for part three. Now then, onto the review. Plot: I have to say that your plot really is quite remarkable. You've taken a relatively normal Terran vs. Zerg st ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#74. Posted on August 23, 2006 11:19 PM. If it really is SC2, then its kind of discouraging for me personally. I've always hoped it was farther in production than just starting the search for a graphics artist. Raeding that news post, however, gave me an idea that would actually make some sense, considering how much there's been for the three series that Blizzard supports. The emphasis on plural games that have not been revealed yet makes me wonder if they aren't breaking in an entirely new storyline, in an entirely new universe. It's ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#75. Posted on August 18, 2006 02:55 PM. While StarCraft was the first Blizz game I ever played, I don't actually play it anymore. I've tried to get back into it several times, though with the games out nowadays I've finally come to realize that graphics really sucked back then, lol. The only reason I honestly even remember much of SC anymore is beacuse of my ties to this site, and the fan fiction that I write. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#76. Posted on August 17, 2006 10:18 PM. Hal, please point me to the place where a real gun is even mentioned, then call this a shoot 'em up again.
-DA ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#77. Posted on August 09, 2006 07:26 AM. Good job and keep up the good work? It's not my story
-DA ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#78. Posted on August 02, 2006 07:13 AM. Well, I enjoyed reading it. Maybe I just don't have a taste for good writing :/ And Delta, I've personally never had anything negative to say about your reviews, and honestly I think that most people realize that you're right after reading them. The only reason they argue is probably because they liked the story and felt a need to defend it. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#79. Posted on July 23, 2006 12:37 AM. Incredible. This really is an awesome piece, and it kept me reading despite the fact that there were no fire fights; just a determined, honorable teenager that fought for his goals. Dialogue was terrific and colorful, right down to the fact that you picked an obscure name for the main character, rather than just Jack, or some other common name. The only flaw I can honestly say I found was that you said first that Roland's brother wakes him every morning at 6:30, then later say that he trained ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#80. Posted on June 27, 2006 06:09 PM. Lmao Tom, but to tell the truth, this site may intend to be PG-13 in the sexual sense, but it's not in most others. Between the horribly explicit violence and gore in some stories, to the language in others, PG-13 doesn't fit too well. And about the "porn", I'm not really sure what to say. I haven't finished reading, but from the stuff in the beginning, you say it in a mature way. It helps to show that Ross has compassion towards a woman that he loves, and doesn't just use her as a ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#81. Posted on June 19, 2006 05:07 PM. I once again ask you Archon, would you really prefer Starcraft 2, which according to statements made by blizzard you would have to pay for monthly anyways? Do you want to have to pay monthly for a game that will further the storyline a short ways, before having to wait another 6 to 8 years for a sequel? Or would you rather see a game that couldn't possibly be a WoW clone with expansions providing new gameplay and new plots that came along every two or so years? -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#82. Posted on June 18, 2006 06:46 PM. The biggest problem that Blizzard is currently haveing to deal with is Battle.net. I've looked through alot of news articles online and alot of them are showing that if Blizzard does make another game, it is almost definitely going to be something you pay for monthly, whether it is WoS or Starcraft 2. If you consider the sheer amount of people that access and use battle.net every day, whether it is for diablo, warcraft, or even starcraft, it's easy to see how even a single MMO isn't enough to ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#83. Posted on June 13, 2006 11:17 PM. Haven't seen you in a while delta
Anyway, the story was alright. You are a good writer, but from your comment I get the feeling that you are way too self centered. Your attitude of, "well, while my story isn't the best I think it could be, if you are a smart person then you'll see how awesome it is" is one helluva bad one. Personally, I didn't think it was that great and I think of myself as a relatively intelligent human being, and to say things like that is way too much.
Not ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#84. Posted on May 27, 2006 09:35 PM. Damn. That was awesome. Needless to say, Blizzard isn't stupid. most of the people on the site think that Blizzard has turned evil and has dumped starcraft, when that's not true. If Blizzard actually did "cancel" ghost, and its not just a publicity stunt before they bring the idea back three months before they release it, then you've got to understand that they have found some better way to continue starcraft. Smasher, Blizzard cares alot about their loyal fans, I assure you, otherwise ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#85. Posted on May 17, 2006 02:34 PM. I just wanted to be sure that you reducing the "mature" stuff for fan art didn't also mean that you would be censoring language in fiction or anything, since that would probably put DFIK (and me to some degree) outta business. lol
-DA ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#86. Posted on May 04, 2006 07:50 PM. I like it. Whoever told you that dialogue was your strong point was right, because you really are good at giving distinct personalities through speech. As for the the "f-bombs", its a part of life. People can argue over it all they want, but it comes up and I like the fact that you "incorporate [your] life into [your] stories". To tell the truth, reading your stuff is probably the reason that I use that kinda language too, though I feel like it adds a sense of realism since s ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#87. Posted on April 17, 2006 05:14 PM. Well, usually if there are major plot eleements that people didn't quite like while reading through the story they keep it to themselves since those things can sometimes be resolved in the end, but when they aren't resolved readers sometimes point them out at the end. OUTPOST 2 for example was one of my better plots, but the things I put in around it weren't very good. The only thing that I would say I really regret about this series is not putting as much of a history around Roy and Richard, an ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#88. Posted on April 16, 2006 05:19 PM. Yeah, I'm sorry that this is long, but I figured that to split the finale into two parts would have subtracted from its impact. I was unhappy with the length when I was done, but I felt that there wasn't anything meaningful that I could cut out that wouldn't subtract from the story. As for the tect screen, I thought that it was odd how it was so wide, but I think its because of the image I used. Keep the comments coming though, I'm hoping that this was actually a good ending for the series si ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#89. Posted on April 12, 2006 02:48 PM. I think that it's a good idea to clear out some of the trash from the site. They'll probably send out messages to the people whose work they're deleting, and I'm sure that I'll receive one or two for some of my oldest junk that I wrote. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#90. Posted on April 07, 2006 06:41 PM. lmao just what I needed to help my day a bit . I hear that almost every game from the other team or my own.
And liver <3 chicken Schwitzer
-DA ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#91. Posted on April 04, 2006 03:23 PM. Yeah, but if it's going to go to Blizzard it should be from the kick-ass writer that made it, not his fans.
And just because blizz hasn't written the script doesn't mean they don't know what direction they want it to go in.
-DA ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#92. Posted on April 04, 2006 01:42 PM. That thing about the novel is actually a pretty good idea. I bet that if you were to show this stuff to blizzard they would be quite impressed by it, and you could make each "espisode" that you've submitted here a chapter. The only problem would have to do with how much of SC2's history Blizzard has already planned out, though who knows, maybe a second fleet from earth would be a decent direction to go for the game. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#93. Posted on April 02, 2006 07:24 AM. I think that WoS may actually be real, but Game spot I think just put this show on for us, because there really are alot of hints in the screenshots to show that those are in fact fake. The biggest thing is the absolute lack of originality in the toolbar at the bottom-I'd like to think that if Blizzard makes WoS they could be at least somewhat original. Secondly, take a look at the icons on the spell bar. They're all replica's from units in Starcraft, so I'd also like to think that Blizzard coul ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#94. Posted on April 01, 2006 10:25 PM. Damn Snot. Very nice work man. I loved this installment just as I have the others, and maybe a little more even. A couple things I would have to say though, is that some of the gramatical stuff was a little off with a couple missing commas, though no big deal. The other thing that I feel like I should mention is the quotations you use around the ship names in the fleet. Reading through the first bit of dialogue and such it really got clogged up having many different quotations within the same ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#95. Posted on April 01, 2006 10:14 PM. I'm sure that alot of it has to do with the mega bucks pouring in from WoW, and I bet there are alot of people smart enough to know that if they can come up with a reason to sue, Blizzard will have no problem offering a bribe, which is a pittance of what they're getting from one of the most popular and successful games ever made. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#96. Posted on April 01, 2006 10:10 PM. Okay...so which is it? Is this actually just a joke or is it real? And if it is Darkarchon where the hell do you go to sign up for beta testing? -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#97. Posted on April 01, 2006 08:10 AM. Well, it is looking like we have fallen into a good news, bad news situation here. I don’t know how many people had the top item on the latest forum links catch their eye, but when I checked it out it really got me thinking. Now that blizzard has WoW for Warcraft, and WoS is apparently very far into the process to continue on the Starcraft story and universe, what’s that going to mean for any possibility of a Starcraft 2? I suppose now the questions about there ever being a Warcraft 4 is going t ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#98. Posted on March 27, 2006 07:14 PM. No problem man, I had actually wanted to go back through the entire story to do a delta-style review, but I figured you'd prefer to have a shorter one sooner so that someone would at least review your hard work. I'll see if I can't still get that long one to you in a pm sometime, though I'll be looking forward to new stuff from you or a continuation of Nine Soldiers. I didn't know you could use that same system for centering though, thanks for telling us. I always wanted to center my titles b ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#99. Posted on March 27, 2006 08:41 AM. Yeah, and how do you manage to get you're stuff centered? I've never been able to figure that out. Anyway, I thought the series overall was pretty good, but not thee best it could be. The thing that sorta got to me was all of the jumping around, and it just made it difficult to feel for the various characters since we only see them for brief periods. I think that what you have with Virus is a truly exceptional story, but the problem is the execution of it, which to me marred the experience. T ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#100. Posted on March 26, 2006 06:43 PM. Blizzard hears everyone's complaints, but they're also smart enough to realize that no matter when they make it, people will do anything to get their hands on it, so the longer they wait the more we anticipate it. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#101. Posted on March 26, 2006 12:36 PM. There is very little doubt that Ghost will be made at some point, mainly because the only reason for a company to dump a project when they're as far in as Blizzard is with Ghost is if they go bankrupt of go out of business. If Blizzard hadn't released as much information about Ghost as they have already, I might say that they were pulling a major cover up for another project, such as SC 2, much as Microsoft has been doing with the rumors about Halo 3 and their actual project for the past few mo ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#102. Posted on March 25, 2006 08:48 AM. Pfff.... First I find out Halo 3 was cancelled and now this. Today is bad enough already.... -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#103. Posted on March 24, 2006 10:43 PM. Yeah, it's just because ace voted average, which I respect, but this did make one hell of a jump from top of the list to the bottom.... -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#104. Posted on March 10, 2006 04:11 PM. Shadow it doesn't take any where near hundreds of hours to make a story good, I made Silence with a total of seven working hours. And hell, I made my first story on the old site in under fifteen minutes, and even though it sucked, it topped popular fiction with over eighty comments (although back then number of views was valued higher than votes). Anyway, not a bad story, you just need some work and you'll be a great writer. It really makes me wonder what fiction will be like in a year when a ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#105. Posted on March 10, 2006 01:18 PM. Well if those were your two most memorable problems then I'm happy, because those are both easily fixable and hopefully don't ruin your overall view on a story like bad grammar or phony conversation. Although to tell the truth, I don't view twelve pages of material as being too long for a short story, and honestly, look at Bane's length. Deadfast made 27 pages lmao. Anyway, I'll try to keep my next story shorter, though no promises on the series' length. -DA Oh and when you're done reading g ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#106. Posted on March 07, 2006 03:40 PM. Yeah, the thing about the length with this one was that I used the spacing between speech and paragraaphs which alot of the writers around here do, though I've never done it before. Without the spacing the story only runs about 12 pages long rather than 17. I think its more pleasing to the eye to have that spacing, so I've implemented it into the next short story I'm writing, and also plan to put it into the next series I'm planning, but I'm going to keep part 5 of CoC in my regular format. S ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#107. Posted on March 05, 2006 08:15 PM. you use <i>words</i> for italicize and <b>words</b> for bolding -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#108. Posted on March 02, 2006 08:03 PM. Definitely Cigarettes. All the chicks convert eventually. Sort of off topic, I have a question for anyone who knows starcraft history well. I was wondering just how old Arcturas Mengst was when his father was murdered. I've looked exhaustively to try and find something about it, but have come up empty, so I thought I'd ask the community. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#109. Posted on February 28, 2006 03:37 PM. Thanks alot Snot, but the threat wasn't nessecary- Shadow's foot ain't getting any where near me lol.
-DA ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#110. Posted on February 27, 2006 07:58 PM. Yeah, but scifi, the US is a democracy, and we have many of the same rules as here. If you cause violent arguments, which the person receiving them finds threatening, there are consequences, just as there are here when members become entangled in each others insults and threats. And to tell the truth there is no democracy that has a complete freedom of speech, and there never will be. Just think if Al Quaeda members were allowed to protest their cause in the streets of our major cities, what wou ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#111. Posted on February 27, 2006 02:11 PM. That's a good question. I honestly don't know whether or not this is the last we'll see of the experiment or not. When I started writing this I think that JoJaysius' series "Arkturn" was in the back of my mind with the way he ended it so that it was open for the creature to do even more. It's probably more likely that I won't, since I prefer to utilize the fact that the reader doesn't know what's stalking the characters to create suspense. BTW, you could leave criticism or a vote ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#112. Posted on February 13, 2006 01:32 PM. Luckily, the likely hood of such an event like this occuring is slim to none, because it would be completely illogical. To tell the truth I've played on Bnet for over a year and never ever seen a hacker. Now, when roughly 65% of the people on Bnet likely haven't either, hwere would the point be in initiating such a thing. Even if they did I wouldn't pay them a dime to try and solve a problem that they get more than enough money for already, whether it's from SC income or the cash flow that they' ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#113. Posted on February 12, 2006 07:43 PM. Are you giving yourself and exceptional vote? btw awesome pic for the series. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#114. Posted on February 08, 2006 01:56 PM. Wow. I hope some day my work can get near the value and quality of stuff like this. Another magnificent installment to the Bane series, and I'm glad you posted this now finally. Exceptional work as usual, keep it up. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#115. Posted on February 07, 2006 06:51 PM. lol, where'd you get your info wicked? Ghost is not out yet, and won't be for a while still. They're making it for 360 and PS3, so they'll likeley wait till after PS3 comes out. Gamestop is likely correct too. But wicked, if you have ghost I'm comin to ur house to play lol. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#116. Posted on February 07, 2006 01:39 PM. Not done reading it, but I like what I've seen. I have to say your stuff is really helping me with some of the elements of the new series im planning (in terms of characters that is). I'll finish and get back to it soon. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#117. Posted on February 07, 2006 01:35 PM. Bad cover. Good summary. We'll see. I dunno, the thing about the cover is that kerrigan looks way too old and has sort of a nothing special face. Nothing unique to show expression or anything. My fav pic of kerrigan (aside from Chevrons) is the cover of Liberty's Crusade. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#118. Posted on February 05, 2006 04:06 PM. Ya, I always try to make it loko clean and presentable, because if your title has just a bunch of letters and representations it makes it a bit unapealing. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#119. Posted on February 03, 2006 10:33 PM. Thanks as usual Snot, glad to know someone is still reading this. I'm working hard to make part 5 all it can be to end the series on a goodd note, and I hope it doesn't dissapoint. I'll work out the spelling and gramatical errors as well as I can also, so that mayb that rating can go up to an exceptional ^^ -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#120. Posted on February 01, 2006 05:00 PM. BG where'd you find the history? I've been looking for a more detailed one so I can find more information for a short story I'm working on. I was wondering if they'd ever write more SC novels, I liked the ones they had. Speed if Darkness was really good-I liked the ending. the nova one and WoW one should be interesting too. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#121. Posted on January 26, 2006 05:09 PM. I trust you guys entirely. You've done this stuff for longer than I can honestly remember, so I figure if anyone can fix stuff up and keep it going smoothly it's you guys. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#122. Posted on January 25, 2006 01:28 PM. Wow, I actually like it. The beginning was a little shaky with some stanzas not flowing real well but I liked the end alot. Just when you think theres no other original way to write a poem with a sad ending.... -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#123. Posted on January 25, 2006 01:26 PM. Wow I really thought that when "This page cannot be displayed" didn't come up again this morning that I'd be looking at an entirely different site...lol. I am glad that you posted this though or I would likely have browsed the entire site looking for the changes. BST if you don't know which wire to cut then put the cutters down. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#124. Posted on January 19, 2006 02:31 PM. lmao. Very, very nice. I was one of those people that was obsessed with legos when I was little so this was especially fun for me to see. that experience also helps me to appreciate how difficult something like this would be...so I would give this far beyond an exceptional, because in my opinion this could in many ways, no matter your skill with the blocks, can be a hell of a lot harder to create than just about any other artwork (although graphics is very close). I'd say you should get it publi ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#125. Posted on January 16, 2006 07:54 AM. mmmm naked kerrigan lol. I say you add that and then get Chevron to lead the project since he's already gotten started on the kerrigan porn rofl. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#126. Posted on January 12, 2006 02:11 PM. Well this site sure as hell ain't G-rated (example right there) and it usually stays pgg-13 until you read the fan fic. At least mine. lol. Anyway, glad to hear that I'm not the only one with the bad votes problem and you guys can take your time with it, most of the readers on the site are pretty understanding. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#127. Posted on January 11, 2006 10:08 AM. Ya I overreacted there, sorry about that. It's just that when you spend a few weeks trying to make something that you hope will make currently popular and someone just ruins it for kicks, and has done it 3 times to me b4, it really ain't pleasant. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#128. Posted on January 10, 2006 02:33 PM. Okay, you know what? I am so God damn sick of this shit. This is the third story of mine that some asshole has voted the worst on and not given any comments. If there is any way that the staff can either A- remove votes like this or B- figure out who is doing it then please do because I am so god damn tired of assholes ruining my chances of getting my story on to the popular fic list. I understand that if someone really does not like it doing something like this, but when they vote pretty bad wi ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#129. Posted on January 10, 2006 02:30 PM. Okay, you know what? I am so God damn sick of this shit. This is the third story of mine that some asshole has voted the worst on and not given any comments. If there is any way that the staff can either A- remove votes like this or B- figure out who is doing it then please do because I am so god damn tired of assholes ruining my chances of getting my story on to the popular fic list. I understand that if someone really does not like it doing something like this, but when they vote pretty bad wi ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#130. Posted on January 07, 2006 05:48 PM. I really liked this, mainly because of the good subject matter and interesting ending, although I wish someone would end their poem with something other than the good guy dying. I mean, it was good at first since it's a much more dramtic way to end a poem, but I think every poem that has been realeased recently, including my own has ended with the death of the "main character". It was interesting to have a poem about a wraith for a change. One thing I noticed though is that in this poe ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#131. Posted on December 22, 2005 04:15 PM. Thanks proto, I know you tend to like the more complicated forms of poetry and are a hell of a lot better than I am with them, but thanks for the compliment. DFIK, thank you for the criticism; I can see how it is a bit forced and those two stanzas, along with one other are off. The first one was a thorn in my side since I must have redone it ten different ways, but couldn't find a good rhyme for what I had to tell. The second one seemed perfect when I wrote it and even when you look at it, bu ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#132. Posted on December 22, 2005 07:03 AM. Yeah, it is pretty weird if you ask me that Virus seems to be the only one that really utilises other styles than just italises since they added that into the fiction section. Dontshoot in order to italisize: <i>words</i> Bolding: <b>words</b> and underlining: <u>words</u> Anyway I really liked this story, you really are a terrific writer. I haven't seen Jarhead yet, but I have to say I like the concept. Exceptional work, as usual. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#133. Posted on December 21, 2005 07:20 PM. Not bad, Not bad. Your work is certainly improving, keep it up. BTW ihatezerg good in fench is "bon" or "bonne" depending on the gender of your subject. Le literature est tres, tres, bon. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#134. Posted on December 21, 2005 05:32 PM. I liked it. I really did, even not having read much of the previous ones, though I felt like I picked up on what was happening fast. There were a couple of grammar mistakes that could have been fixed by re-reading it along with the fact that you said Jason "crumpled" his forehead, when the more appropriate phrase would be "wrinkled his forehead" lol. Anyway, great job, I vote exceptional. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#135. Posted on December 21, 2005 05:22 PM. Jesus man, you could make some money off of these things if you got by Blizzard. You really are the master of poetry and continue to amaze me with your skills. The only line that bothered me was: "when our blood's been bled", but I dunno how else you would have worked that part so I can understand, and really it just didn't sound right to me, so that's all I found wrong with it. I like how you managed to interweave the holiday factor with the solemness of war as well as everythin ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#136. Posted on December 10, 2005 02:11 AM. Oh my God that made me nauseous. "I simply pointed out the zerg are really stupid so what is the wtf for?" PLEASE tell me that you seriously are not that stupid? "wtf" is what I said all the way through this thing for more reasons than I could count. A)Horrible spelling and Grammar B)The Zerg aren't stupid, they're commanded by the overmind C)The Overmind isn't stupid D)Why the hell would the over mind send five lurkers after 5 marines? A single lurker is capable of ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#137. Posted on December 07, 2005 07:50 AM. Oh gimme a break, don't do that. This wasn't the most intersting or original story I've read, and honestly, I didn't much care for it, but for God's sake don't start cluttering the fic list to try and shock your readers. If you want to see the reactions (which are rarely good ones) to the submission of a 40-page story there are plenty of examples, and I hate it when people publish their entire story and then re-submit it as multiple chapters. Not to mention the fact that you might actually get 5 ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#138. Posted on December 02, 2005 04:34 PM. Eh, I hate previews. All they do is waste space on the fic list and will never be received well. Just write the series, because honestly, a "sneak preview" will never make a series more popular when it comes out. The great series like UED and Bane never used previews and they're some of the most popular around here. It's how the story is written that makes it popular, not how it is advertised. Peace Out. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#139. Posted on November 28, 2005 03:38 PM. Okay you two, calm down. First of all tech, watch they you talk because flaming will get your butt banned from the site pretty quick nowadays. Second of all, Richard is right on two things: the number of firebats doesn't affect how high a wall of flame would be, and secondly, no one wants to read a story where the combat sounds like the game, or any other feature for that matter, because it causes the reader to quickly lose interest since they feel no suspense, and they don't feel like they are ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#140. Posted on November 27, 2005 07:56 AM. Okay, first of all, the thought thing was a killer. It really interrupted the entire flow of the story, and the more I read it, it seemed that italics would as well because of the locations of them in the story. What would be best when you edit this, would be to make the overmind's thoughts and orders, as well as the ultralisk's thoughts into a dialogue format. To emphasize the fact that it isn't dialogue, just mitalisize it, so that it has some more structure to it and doesn't dissrupt the flo ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#141. Posted on November 18, 2005 01:55 PM. I think It would have been a bit better if you gave us more than 12 days to try and come up with an award winning short story...but w/e. Anyway, my opinion on this is that you stick with the "regular" short story thing to be due in on the 30th and then go ahead and announce the next contests for each of the months and the details about them. That way, especially for the SC fiction contest, people will have more time to make them so they can be awesome reads. I also really like the s ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#142. Posted on October 29, 2005 01:48 AM. "Writing a good novel is like making sweet love..." Lmao, now there's an analogy for you. I'll review it eventually, finding the time is tough nowadays between my writing, reading, and that damned nagging life of mine. Peace out. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#143. Posted on October 29, 2005 01:42 AM. Ya two refixes is a bit too many, but maybe you're like me since I always enjoy seeing people's comments on my stuff and sometimes if you haven't written anything new in a while you get desperate. I've certainly done that before. But, if that is the case, then share in the glory of Pandora's box, since you wrote it too. I still haven't been able to read all of that yet. Peace out. -DA Oh, and speaking of which, I wonder if staff could possibly find a way to make it so that if two people ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#144. Posted on October 29, 2005 01:35 AM. Thanks for all of the feedback on this guys, espeacially you Geckat, as usual. The thing that is making the writing of this story difficult to me is making sure I catch all of the plot holes as I write, because there are technically two main plots that I'm having to weave together: the character's history and secrets and then the main one. I've been having to work alot on characters since part two is where a vast majority of development takes place. Anyway, I'll keep writing and pray writer's bl ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#145. Posted on October 29, 2005 01:28 AM. Oh ya, I forgot that Arkturn was yours, I really enjoyed that series. Anyway, I thought this was really good since nothing seemed forced, and even when two lines didn't really rhyme, you managed to make it flow perfectly with the story. The only thing I noticed was two entries that didn't quite rhyme that could have with a slight adjustment: "He's seen spines rain from the sky He's watched as everyone around him dies" Instead this could be: He's seen spines rain from the sky ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#146. Posted on October 04, 2005 11:57 AM. Oh shit did I say that? Ah, ya That should be "Canister rifle". Sorry about that I guess I mixed two different thoughts, thanks for pointing that out. I'll go fix that. ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#147. Posted on September 29, 2005 09:58 AM. Eh, that fact that you said you didn't like it might have mislead me, but that's just me lol. To tell you the truth man, you were the main person I was trying to impress with this, mostly because you showed me the most and were very honest with the original. Personally, I think my first releases didn't get a whole lot of attention because the first chapter sucked. I had the picture in my head, but it wasn't the same on paper, and that really confused alot of people I think. One thing I found ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#148. Posted on September 27, 2005 12:10 PM. Yes, I did resub this, but with alot of changes with grammar as well as plot, since your comments showed me there were alot of things to improve on. I also basically strung the chapters together and the main reson why I resubmitted this was because I released these months ago, and if I just went ahead and posted part two, many people wouldn't even recognize it. I just find it's easier to do it this way for readers and me as well; after all OUTPOST 2 was a resub and I didn't get complaints on tha ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#149. Posted on September 06, 2005 10:54 AM. Heh, this one made it back up here. Too bad the finale won't 
Peace out.
-DA ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#150. Posted on August 25, 2005 02:26 AM. What the hell? Who is going around giving people below averages? I've seen this happen on alot of people's stories and im really getting tired of it. If there's anything the staff can do to trace the accounts that put votes in, that would be helpful so that maybe we can get rid of whoever is doing this. Peace out. -DA Err, pretty bad rather, not below average. ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#151. Posted on August 23, 2005 08:21 AM. Yeah, kind of sad really, but hell, this only came out a couple days ago. Though I have to say I expected Geckat to jump right on this since he's been so active with the other parts. I'll just have to continue to wait patiently and Delta you owe me that review you were gonna post on the first two parts of this. Peace out. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#152. Posted on August 23, 2005 01:44 AM. Alright, this is... interesting... to say the least. While I haven't had time to finish reading it yet (and am losing faith that I will continue as more of these comments pop up) one of the first things I noticed was the name. Whether it's Confederate Lies (as mentioned on the actualy fan fic list) or Confederate Conspiraces (as said in the actual story) I don't really care, but the fact of the matter is... well... that's kind of my name. All you did really was twist around Conspiraces of the Co ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#153. Posted on July 20, 2005 06:56 AM. Thanks Snot, I'll take that into consideration. And Delta, go ahead and post it out here, I like to know what I did horribly wrong and many times reading about another person's mistakes can help your writing skills too, so it will probably benefit others. Besides that fact that it's entertaining to watch a person's story ripped apart before your eyes...hehehe. Peace out. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#154. Posted on July 20, 2005 06:53 AM. Have you ever enjoyed a story Delta? I don't think I've ever seen you say "Wow that was awesome about anything. Peace out. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#155. Posted on July 15, 2005 04:27 PM. Ahh, shit undead the least you could have done was been original with the names. I just realized, alot of the names are copied exactly from Doom 3. Bill Tyson, William Banks, Mark Ryan, and Walter Connors were all the same. Grant Bastion is Grant Baston, and Theresa Chaser is actually Theresa Chasar. I think there may be more since I haven't completely beat it yet, but the least you could have done was gone to google and found some names. You should do that in the future. Peace out. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#156. Posted on July 15, 2005 04:21 PM. Actually, this is a four part story, so next will be part three. Funny thing is, this is actually the first time I know what I want to happen in the end, and I'm planning accordingly, rather than making it up as I go. I'm working hard to make both of the next parts meet everyone's expectations. Peace out. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#157. Posted on July 14, 2005 04:55 PM. I, personally, love killing off my characters. I suppose it's good for a writer to do that and not become too attached to a character because that way, if he has to kill one for the good of the story, he can without serious hesitation. Oh, sorry to keep doing this, but I forgot in my review about one thing. The reason for the weird mutations and things was kind of a copy from Res evil. Having a virus do it, though it is the most likely explanation is kinda old. The T-Virus, G-Virus, and whate ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#158. Posted on July 14, 2005 04:48 PM. Damn, I never thought this would be that good lol. I'm actually surprised Delta hasn't blown this one outta the water, but he's probably got a few pages on it and is saving it, knowing him hehehe. I'm honored that you think this is worthy of elite fiction, and also surprised. This story has gotten alot more attention than I ever would have imagined. It certainly gives part three a much better chance when I release it though
Thanks for taking care of warblade- damn you did that fast lol. I ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#159. Posted on July 14, 2005 04:36 PM. That's actually the first time I've ever done that, but since He's planning to write a sequel, I'd like him to take some of that stuff into consideration so that the sequel can get an exceptional from me. I've actually had to go back and play Doom 3 a bit now, reading this made me get a craving to do that and get the shit scared out of me lol. Peace out. -DA ... Click here to view this comment. |
|
#160. Posted on July 14, 2005 04:33 PM. Congratz Geckat! It's good to see a fellow member get into the big time. Hopefully since you've been around most of the problems you'll know what things need fixing . Hope you'll still have time to submit stuff too.
Also, do you think someone on the staff could take care of some of the people spamming the fanfiction with their comments? On Yossarian's "Jack in the Box" several people were posting huge things that were copied and pasted from other websites as well as other people's ...Click here to view this comment. |
|
#161. Posted on July 14, 2005 03:33 PM. Resident Evil 2, Resident Evil 3, and, like you said, Doom 3. The descriptions reminded me alot alot alot of the Resident Evil books as did the whole zombie thing (although I do understand that that is used alot now). Resident Evil two had alot of the massing of zombies <i> and </i> the creepy experiments going on and the "four story tall giant" has Nemesis written all over it, especially since it had a rocket launcher. For me, It was like experiencing playing Doom 3 becaus ... Click here to view this comment. |
<